Pregnant and just found out my partner has been searching escorts

[Lou95x]

Hello I’m 28 years old and I have a 9 year old boy, the relationship with his father was domestic abuse and he cheated on me throughout the pregnancy and relationship. He doesn’t see his dad due to the domestic violence and social services deeming him high risk towards my son. 2 years ago I met someone else and he’s been the best partner I have ever had, supported me financially emotionally he does a lot for me and my family he is just perfect the total opposite of my ex. Well I’m 3 months pregnant with him and out of curiosity I looked at his search history on his phone. Found multiple searches over the past 2 years I’ve been with him for local escorts. I also found text messages earlier in the year of him asking if escorts are available which he blamed on his friend and his friend said it was him. Now I have found recent history on google of him searching local escorts every other day, times I’m not with him. We have a good sex life so I can’t understand why he would have sex with escorts , and this is every couple of days he is searching it. Please help me how do I approach it how do I speak to him about it ? Thank you. This is the second baby I’ll be bringing up on my own I’m so stressed out how could he do this it’s disgusting why would he pay for sex off escorts multiple times per week

If you really believe that he’s having sex with escorts several times every week then you need to talk to him about it asap. Why were you randomly checking his phone? If he hasn’t cleared his search history then it’s almost as if he wants to get caught. Is he happy about the baby?

Ewww he is so gross! I’m so sorry. I find a lot of men start looking elsewhere when their partner is pregnant especially - I mean just look at some of the cheating threads on here and a lot of the women are pregnant.

However as you have found past examples of this, it seems like maybe this is a habit he has done since before you started dating him. The fact he has text escorts and searching them when he’s alone and recently shows the habit is still there. I would say that he has more than likely gone through with it due to how much he’s been searching it.

Personally I wouldn’t be able to stay with someone like this let alone have them in the same house with me or next to me in bed.

I’d just tell him what you’ve seen and ask him to leave. Don’t listen to the people who say you shouldn’t have snooped because if you hadn’t you wouldn’t have known this.

I am in such a similar position after snooping and I have a baby with my partner and a previous child and am now embarking on single parenthood the second time. We can do it - you and your child deserve someone loyal and trustworthy! Also I’d book in an STI test asap.

Thank you. I’m going to confront him about it today. Luckily I took photos of his phone on my phone so I have all the evidence , you don’t just search them for nothing he’s obviously met them. It’s disgusting I’d rather be on my own if I’m honest. I’ll have to get through it. Just feel so cheated and sickened how he could do this when he claims to love me, I’ve never been so happy with somebody he really looks after me and my family they love him so much so don’t know why he would do this. He is happy about the baby I have my scan tomorrow. Don’t know if to confront today or after the scans heads a mess xxx

Hi I was just bored and he was out at a music show he plays in a band. So just had a look through and I am glad that I did otherwise I wouldn’t of known the true person that he is he’s been doing this for months and months x

Get an STI test OP x

He does not ‘look after you’, every time he goes to a sex worker he removes your right to informed sexual consent, he removes your personal agency and he puts your unborn baby in jeopardy, STIs can do horrendous things during pregnancy.

He is abusive, just in a different way. He has already lied blatantly to you with his dirty friend backing him up. That could have been a wake up call to him but he arrogantly carried on thinking he’d got away with pulling the wool over your eyes.

You need to get rid of this unsafe man and now. He is unsafe for you, even without my own opinions on men who engage sex workers.

You matter, his moment in the scan is inconsequential. You need to get away from this duplicitous nasty piece of work NOW. Any sob story will be a lie. He’s told you who he is, it’s loud and clear, believe him.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

This is the thing I thought my partner was the best ever for me and my kids. But the truth is he’s a liar and he’s been deceiving me and if I hadn’t snooped I wouldn’t know either.
Im sure when confronted he will be all apologetic and say nothing has ever happened. I’m glad you took photos of proof, I did the same as I knew otherwise I’d be convinced I saw things wrong.

A decent man and boyfriend doesn’t go searching for escorts constantly and message them. Can you imagine when your baby is here and you’re too tired to have sex? He’ll be going each week then I imagine! Also imagine the money he is spending on having sex!!! I think that’s even worse than cheating in some ways as he physically has to pay someone for their body.

I’d confront him when your kids aren’t around and also I’d make sure he leaves there and then. I don’t know how you can carry on with normal life with him knowing what he’s up to.

look after yourself and hope the scan goes well xxx

You still have time to end the pregnancy if you're having second thoughts.

Sorry this man has turned out to be no good.

Some men are just cheaters, always want sex with multiple women/more than one woman, always want variety, always want new .... It doesn't matter how attractive you are or if you have sex regularly.

They don't want sex with only one woman, end of story.

Prostitutes are a fast, easy way of getting that ...you don't have to find other women, court them, lie to them about your partner, be nice to them, juggle everything. It's convenient.

When men are like this, or get into the habit of being like this, they rarely stop.

I'm sorry you're going through this op.

You're a sensible woman - when you talk about the likelihood of him using them - mostly the men lie about searching but not using them, and some women believe that ... And just set themselves up for years more shit treatment. You're too sensible to fall for that.

It wasn't his friend sweetheart it was him, my husband tried to wriggle out of it with that excuse too.