I am broken

[MotherofChaosandDestruction]

I have been suffering from post separation abuse for nearly 2.5 years. I keep getting back up and fighting him but I'm broken from a particularly aggressive episode in front of the children. He'll never stop until he feels he has won but I don't know what winning looks like for him.

I've done what everyone says you should do, I've involved solicitors, police but the kids love him and want to see him. I want him to and never tried to restrict or stop contact but I want him to leave me alone, I just can't cope with it anymore. He has the children now and I just want to go to sleep and never wake up, I'm in such pain and I don't know if I can go on anymore.

He doesn't want the children, he's made that clear but why still torture me. I let him have whatever contact he wants but I don't want to see him and he just won't stop, ever.

Can someone please say it gets better - I'm living a life of being scared to die because of leaving my children to be raised by him and just wanting this to all end.

Sounds like contact needs to be sorted in court so it's arranged that you never have to see him.

No phone calls or texts, only email and only about the kids. In the meantime a family member handing over and collecting maybe if that's possible?

These specimens hate it when they lose control of their victims. It's hell, I'm sorry.

I got married sooner than we wanted to to get rid of my ex, he was an utter nightmare. Not that I'm suggesting that or anything.

Is there a 3rd party that can take away handovers ?

My family are being so supportive but no one really wants to get involved in regular handovers purely because he's quite aggressive.

I would be happy to take the kids to his family but he doesn't want that, he wants me to do what he says.

I didn't want to go to court but I think I'm going to have to. Either that or just do whatever he says, I'm not sure I care much about my safety anymore.

Mediate before court.
And ask there to drop them off at his family watch how quick he loses the bottle to bully because he will be made to justify an uncomfortable situation.

If you feel up to it that is.

Can you have someone with you for handovers. Maybe with a handy phone on record? Don't get into a verbal discussions, if he wants to say something he can do it via email.

It sounds as if you need an outside body for help. See a solicitor first. This can't go on. You need an end or it'll grind you down. If he steps over lines, ring the police and keep ringing them every time. He needs reining in.

And keep a log of what he's saying, doing and when.