Partner in contact with OW

[NotThatSure]

Ok context been with partner 8 years .
I found out after 18months of being together he had been sleeping or trying to sleep with other women for about 5months at the start .
it was a confusing time but even though I thought we were not seeing other people apparently he didn’t think that until we were “official” we worked through it and I thought all was well.

so fast forward to yesterday DP was looking at messages and I saw one woman’s name at the top of his chats . He’s been in contact with one of these “women “ and it could all be platonic as they were friends previously but it just seems out of the blue .
I don’t want to police who he can speak to but he knows I wouldn’t be comfortable with it so I’m just abit hurt he’s even bothering to interact with her again ? Aibu? I am autistic so I struggle with things like this and I doubt myself . Others peoples insight would help .

You have expressed your boundary here to us - you are not comfortable with it that boundary is yours and only yours to make. Everyone has different boundaries so we can't really say yours is unreasonable or not unreasonable however I know alot of women would be raising eyebrows at messages with their dps and ex flings.

These messages may be absolutely harmless or they may be very betraying.

I hate to assume but I would imagine having a conversation about something like this would be tricky for you ? Unfortunately that's the only way you're going to get a solution he maybe able to give you assurances or he may not realise it would upset you if it isn't totally innocent .

Hi sorry your going through this. You are not being unreasonable. If they have had an intimate relationship previously they can't be just friends. I personally don't think it's right him chatting to her at all if there's a history huge disrespect and you need to lay down the law. Plus you say re the initial stages of a relationship all cards should have been laid out did you ever ask how he would think or feel if you thought the relationship was open?. Best wishes x