To Divorce or not to Divorce

[Loulabelle1234]

No kids involved except for grown up DSS. We just don't get on, nothing awful, no abuse etc. We used to be so close and love each other but now everything he does just irritates me. Am I menopausal? We had another row yesterday and to be honest we spoke to each other like shit. Surely there's more to life then constant bickering and resentment? Financially we'd both be worse off if we divorced and divided assets but is this a reason to stay? I do care about my DH but not sure I love him anymore. We've been together 30 years but only married for 10.

Only you can make that decision, l although most couple will go through bad patches, some will come through it and some won't.
We went through a bad one ourselves a few years ago just the same as you described in your post ,we were vile to each other, really vile almost every day over nothing most of the time & I genuinely didn't think we'd make it. I can't really say what the turning point was, but little by little we started reacting differently towards each other, instead of screeching at each other over every little thing we began to talk more calmy about whatever the problem was and not let resentment build, because when you let that happen ,teeny niggles blow up way out of proportion. I've always found there's more power in your words when you speak them rather than rant and rave and the reaction to them is usually calmer then too. Maybe we've just been lucky but we're closer than ever now .
I hope you can work it out find the way through it whatever you decide, 30 years is a long relationship to walk away from, but then again how long in that 30 years have you been really unhappy for is it months, years? You have to consider that too. Life is too short to be miserable in your own home for the rest of your life.

Great reply already! I’ve been with my partner 26 years (only married for 5) and during that time we’ve had some ups and downs - some days we hate each other! I remember my aunt telling me there were periods of even 1 or 2 year in her long marriage, that they hated each other- but it does pass.

I can be happy without my husband as I’m sure you can. But after such a long period of time - is it worth it? I recognize that I irritate my husband and he certainly irritates me - that’s just life - but underneath it all, we have a strong connection and shared history - I do value that above anything else. And yes, the menopause does make things hard ….

Hey, I've been through some tough times in my own marriage, so I understand how hard it can be. It's essential to take care of yourself and your happiness. Counseling could help you both figure things out. Check out the guide at https://divorcejury.com/faq for more insights on navigating this tough decision. Remember to take it one step at a time. Take care!