I’m married with older/teen dcs and am in an EA with a slightly younger man (no dcs) he is married but they’re living apart. It’s only been going on for a few weeks.
I haven’t been very happy with dh for quite a while now. He thinks he is a great guy (has absolutely no self-reflection/modesty) but he’s done some horrible things to me that I know if I listed here you’d all be telling me to ltb. The main reason I haven’t is down to financials. He is (I think) financially abusive. He owns £££ in assets but I have no access to any of this information. He pays all bills. His business is extremely complicated and not straightforward at all and if he died or had an accident I wouldn’t have the first clue where to start. When I voice these fears to him he just wriggles his way out of it saying things like “the solicitors will deal with it” or “you’ll be fine”. The reality is he just doesn’t want to get me involved. We have never been an equal partnership in any way. I stayed home to look after the dcs whilst he has always worked 10-12 hour days. Another thing that really pisses me off is that I was left alone for years bringing up the children whilst he escaped to the office and wouldn’t even take a day off even if I was really ill, yet now this past year (now the dcs are all grown up and flying the nest!)he’s decided he is working from home now and that’s that. I get no say in this (and it’s driving me fucking mad). He is incapable of having a conversation- everything is about him and his interests which are moaning about his work and the economy. I could go on forever.
But, fast forward to now. I can’t stop thinking about this man. I’ve had better conversations with him in the last few weeks than I’ve had in my life with dh. I can tell he is kind and very emotionally aware. He does a lot of charity work and cares about the environment etc. (Dh is a climate denier/brexit voting/very right wing type and moans about anything an everything - he loves the sound of his own voice and has to control/hold court over every conversation). I have come to fear the dcs leaving home and being left alone with him. I feel so lonely even when he’s around. I want to be with someone I can feel secure with and talk to about crap.
Im feeling a bit infatuated with this man which I know is ridiculous. I’ve lost half a stone in 2 weeks - I can’t eat or sleep. What is weird is that despite the problems with dh I’ve never looked at another man or entertained ideas of sleeping with someone else. Then I met this man and it all just flipped on it’s head, I can’t think of anything else. I never fancy anyone - Why am I so attracted to this man?
I don’t really know why I’m even posting except to get it off my chest- I’ve no one to talk to in RL and wouldn’t tell even my closest friend.
Has anyone else been through anything similar? If so, what happened? Is it just hormones?
Im not going to ask or expect anything from this man, I’m letting him take the lead. I feel like I will accept any crumbs he throws my way!
I don’t mind people being honest but please don’t be horrible.