Should I worry so much about my parents as they get older?

[Enchanted82]

Would appreciate thoughts and advice- my parents ( mid sixties and early seventies) seem to be declining rapidly when it comes to living busy, full lives and I’m worried they are slowly turning in to two people who hardly go anywhere and who just watch tele all day.

they have both worked hard their whole lives and since retiring they just spend time on the garden and pottering. Theyve never been the kind of people who have many friends and their interactions with anyone else now is limited. They moved abroad a few years ago but have no friends where they live.

I’ve tried to say things but they’re stubborn and not interested. I just worry they are turning into two recluses.

Should I just let them get on with it and not worry so much? I’m worried such little engagement with others is terrible for their mental wellbeing

you can't force or even encourage them, my parents are the same and my stepdad doesn't keep great and they are isolated my mum especially, he has .friends that pop in and see him, anyway yes you will worry about them but it's their life to Potter if that's what they want to do.

God, I can't wait to retire and spend my time pottering.

My MH will be way better when I don't have to work or speak to anyone

The joy of retirement is you can do the things you want to do and spend time with the people you want to, and avoid the rest. Perhaps they are very happy pottering?

Yes absolutely. They just don’t have anyone apart from me and my family ( In another country) and don’t socialize with anyone else. But as others have said, it is their life and I respect their decisions

I think you have to accept they are adults who have retired and have the time and freedom to choose how to live. They are probably perfectly happy with each others company because if they werent theyd do something about it.

They are still very young actually so I'd let them get on with it because beyond encouraging them to meet people, join clubs societies and so on, you cant do anything about it.

It will be fine until either one of them dies or becomes infirm/frail. The survivor/healthy one will feel the impact more acutely probably and when they emerge from their grief, you may find they embrace this sort of life activity because they want to or need to.

I wouldn’t be worried unless they seem upset/stressed/negative in some way.

Some people really enjoy keeping to themselves and pottering. It might not be for everyone but if they’re happy enough I’d leave them to it and just make sure I keep regular contact and call them often.