Work or my relationship - chose

[Hoping77]

At breaking point with my relationship.

Trying to cut a very long story short my partner has major issues with his management team at work.
i work with him so it’s my peers and manager too. I’m a manager but not directly to him.

He won’t raise a grievance, he’s not the easiest person to manage. All managers there are very ego driven and in power trips.

i personally haven’t had any issues. I earn more and I quite enjoy my job.

He’s saying he needs to leave now and he can’t bare the thought of me staying there and working with them. He also doesn’t like hearing me talking with them on the phone and says he expects me to be livid every day with them and be sharp and unfriendly with them on calls.

he feels like I’m betraying him and I need to chose a side.

I’ve said he’s being totally unfair and its him who is putting work before our family not me.

we have basically decided we can’t agree and to call it a day. But he loves me and I love him and I just don’t know what to do.

should I just leave move jobs to save our relationship?

we have a 4 year old daughter who I know will be devastated, plus it’s 2 weeks until Xmas 😢

This is the problem with work based relationships.

In what you have written, it sounds like your DP is the problem. Does your DP have a new job lined up? How likely is it you would be able to walk into a new position? It makes absolutely no sense for both of you to pack your jobs in with no other job lined up.

He can leave and find something else. Once his new position is secure, then you can assess your position.

He has every right to leave. But he has absolutely no right to tell you to. Let alone to ask you to treat other people like shit.

He doesn't get to destroy your career because he's fucking up his own.

You have a child to think of. You need to work.

Honestly I'd turf him out for being so bloody selfish. He's acting like another 4 year old child.

What kind of adult asks his wife to be horrible to her colleagues just because he doesn't like them?

If he wants to quit, it's his perogative but he needs to find another job within 3 months. Don't let him leave you doing all the earning.

If he persists on acting like a baby telling you you have to prove your loyalty, turf him out.

Its not you that needs to prove loyalty. Its him.
You're being loyal to your family. Supporting it and not just thinking about yourself. He however, is telling his wife to throw her career down the toilet because he can't stand you succeeding where he has failed.

That's not a partner, it's a rival.
Don't stay married to people who view you as their competitors.

Don’t be silly.

You don’t leave your job because your partner is a shitty employee.

How can I tell he’s a shitty employee with a bad attitude?
he expects me to be livid every day with them and be sharp and unfriendly with them on calls

What a bellend. Tell him to grow up.

Hes completely unprofessional and you need to tell him so. Work is work, and you don't bring personal shit to work.

Maybe if he'd realised that sooner he wouldn't be in this mess.

Good chance it'll be the same for him wherever he goes. Don't quit, but he should, and make sure he has a new job before he does or you'll end up with a freeloader.

Choose your job. He's a man-child who can't handle you being an adult. Get rid!