Should I be suspicious?

[Fishinmybath]

Been with my partner for 3 years and we have a baby.
There were trust issues at the start as he wasn’t serious about our relationship, I had no idea he saw us as only dating and not exclusive for some time. During that time he was talking to other women and also dating them. It wasn’t until I called time on the dating that he decided he wanted to be serious and stopped talking to the other women. So for the first year roughly I didn’t trust him and always assumed he’d cheat or go back to talking to the other women. (I knew who they were and they all had partners shortly after, some now married)
Things got better in time and the trust was eventually earned.
Roll on to today, I’ve had no reasons to be concerned since the first year dramas and I haven’t had a reason to assume he’s secretive or shouldn’t be trusted as he’s always home when he isn’t working.
I needed to ring customer services over something and they needed me to click a link and confirm something. This was set up in my partners email so I urgently needed his email and password. I rang him to send it as I was on the phone to customer service but he didn’t provide the information, he said ‘we’ll sort it when I’m home later’.
This has got my head in a spin because I’m assuming the worst. That he’s got traces of cheating or porn websites on his email account and he assumes I want to go through his email. I even told him to change his password after I’ve set up the code through the link as I have no intention of reading his emails, but radio silence.
I don’t think he’s cheating but he probably has something to hide. What do you all think? It won’t be Christmas presents because he hasn’t bought a thing yet. It’s got me wondering if couples share their passwords or if it’s deemed as privacy and nothing to be suspicious about?
I leave my phone laying around with no passcode, he can see anything he wants if he asked to. I wouldn’t like it if he snooped but it didn’t even cross my mind to do that to him. His phone is password protected and always in his pocket even to use the loo.
Am I being paranoid or should I have a discussion with him about this?

I woukdn't give my password to my partner.

Re your first year together, isn't that just poor communication? After about 3 dates my partner and I agreed we wanted to be exclusive. In the age of dating apps I think it's normal for people to continue chatting with others until that discussion is had.

My OH knows the PIN to my phone, but doesn't know my email account password, but couldn't get in even if I shared it, as I've got two factor authentication.

If an email was coming through to him, why not just ask him to forward it to you, job done.

Can you even access his email acct with just the password? No two factor authentication set up?

Fair play to all comments and thank you all for replying.
Im calmer today, I think a part of me was anxious he was hiding something so my mind went into overdrive. I’m dropping it and not pushing him for not wanting to give passwords as I respect his need to privacy. The pressure being on the phone to customer services and not providing what they’re asking on the spot also made me over think it in the spur of the moment stress. It’s all sorted now, he done it when he got home and typed the details into my phone so I’m confident he isn’t hiding anything. He’s made an easy password for all bill related accounts so I don’t need to ask his details or for help in future.
REgarding the first year dating, we were exclusive at that point in my eyes because he started calling me his girlfriend but he continued to speak to the other women until I found out. If he wasn’t calling me his girlfriend then I’d have left it but he made it seem like we were in a relationship and denied going on dates. He’s sorry for it now but it’s the part of our relationship I’ll always be bitter about because we got off to a bad start.

So, I have a few questions. You say you needed to ringing customer services and did, but then you go on to say you need to open the link in his email address. Why??

Why don't you have your own email address to use? I don't buy into your story about just using his account to open and click the link, sorry! You talk way too much about feeling insecure in your new relationship due to being cheated on in the past and for that, I'm sorry. To my knowledge I've never been cheated on and that must of been awful for you, however, it still doesn't give you the right to go through his emails. I think that was your true intention, sorry op.

I can't believe so many people on here are ok with their partners having access to their accounts. I, like a few others wouldn't be giving a partner access to my email address either tbh, because you know, that's private!? and people have a right to privacy depite whether you trust them or not. It does come across as controlling and very entitled and I'd hate to be in a relationship with any of you due to the way you lot feel about NOT having access to someone else's account! Jeeze!

Get your own email address and use that in future op. You've no need to use his email address and sort out your trust issues before you get into another relationship please.

I wouldn't give dh my password's either, but I would forward him the email which I could do from my phone, so no need to access my emails. It's simply a privacy thing and he no doubt would see a reminder in there of something I was meant to do that I forgot about and would be annoyed at me and that was irritate me more. 😂

Glad you're sorted Op.

I'm genuinely surprised at how many people wouldn't share their password with their OH.

I appreciate the right to privacy, but if you trust your OH that isn't an issue. What I mean is, I have my DH's computer password, because there have been occasions when I wanted to get a photo / check an email that was on his laptop, and he preferred to tell me his password rather than stop what he was doing. He knows he can trust me, so I wouldn't look at anything else. It wouldn't occur to me to look through his stuff. And it works both ways.

Your partner has no right to go through your emails or go through your phone, but if they need your password for practical reasons and you don't give it them, surely that means you don't trust them not to go through your messages?

Think what you like but I’ve never even thought about looking through his boring work emails before. Customer service needed me to click the link as a security feature to proceed. It’s signed up in his email address not mine hence why I needed access there and then. If I wanted access to spy on him I’d have said so in my OP as it’s anonymous on here so I’d have no reason to lie. Very strange comment. Thanks again to those who helped me give my head a wobble, everything’s fine now.

Would not want to share my password either and like previous poster said I wouldn't actually know it depending on what account it was

I don't understand why married people wouldn't share their passwords? You share your body, your money, your children, your life but they can't know your phone password? Is it one of these 'only on MN things' like with people who never answer the door?

My OH behaved like yours OP but with his laptop - I eventually found out he'd been watching gay porn.