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Original poster

Anyone just get bored of lying in bed alone

43 replies

wishingwells · 13/12/2023 23:36

Same thing different night partner is on the couch watching YouTube i am lying in bed wondering why he doesn't just come to bed and maybe even have some us time which never happens these days, we hardly talk he is just always watching his phone what is so good on YouTube? We have sex about once a month if that Im getting really frustrated with it if I am honest no attention what so ever just lying here ALONE again

OP posts:
Palmasailor · 14/12/2023 01:17

wishingwells · 13/12/2023 23:42

Whyyy? Why do they do it!

Show quote history

Having been a husband who slept on the sofa in my last marriage I can tell you that I did it because I didn’t want to be in bed with my wife.

It was as simple as that.

burntoutnurse · 14/12/2023 01:25

Have you spoken to him?

I've been with dp three years, and this week I've been pretty poorly with the flu and ended up coming to bed on my own every night. Turns out he was thinking I was needing my rest whilst I was feeling lonely, i told him. He came to bed with me that night. Now he's snoring and looking at the sofa 🙈 but it was horrible so I can imagine how upset you are

Talk to him, make time for the two of you, make moves on him. Do you go to bed particularly early? Maybe stay downstairs later with him the odd night

PeacefulPottering · 14/12/2023 01:52

Do you still do anything together? I mean plan stuff, holidays, birthday?
It sends alarm bells for me that you don't even do the shopping together? Has he checked out? You are a couple. You are supposed to be a team . If you are not doing the basics then sex will be a nightmare.
Tell him you want to get closer, do couple stuff, tell him it's not working for you x

PeacefulPottering · 14/12/2023 01:59

And why do you think he will be spiteful?
I there other areas he is like this?
Usually checking out of a relationship is about control, they have you second guessing and walking on eggshells like you say.
What about you OP?
It's time to get some control, tell him what you need, more affection, interaction, having your back.
Sex comes after all that, you have a problem with a man who has checked out.

randomusername2020 · 14/12/2023 02:25

This reply has been withdrawn

Removed at poster's request due to privacy concerns.

AgentJohnson · 14/12/2023 04:25

Waiting for the person to change the status quo, who is mainly responsible for the status quo, is futile. If you are not going to be part of the solution then you need to accept that you are part of the problem.

Why are you hiding in a rubbish relationship?

tescocreditcard · 14/12/2023 05:06

Do you really need to have the internet on when you get home from work. Turn it off, have dinner, chat about your day, watch a movie or go out.

Those men who are downstairs on the internet long after their partners have gone to bed are probably watching porn or chatting to women.

DixonD · 14/12/2023 07:21

MariaLuna · 14/12/2023 00:42

^Been single a while and I love having my bed to myself.

I can’t imagine ever wanting to share with a man again^

Me too.

Having a bed for me myself and I is utter bliss. I can come and go when I want.

Being single and having the bed to yourself is one thing. But, when you have a man in your life and they clearly have no interest in getting in there with you - it hurts.

Original poster
wishingwells · 14/12/2023 19:26

I think it’s just going to be a new year new me, I can’t stay in a relationship like this been thinking about it a lot today, like someone previously said I shouldn’t be treading on egg shells but that’s how I feel constantly and that’s not good

OP posts:
Original poster
wishingwells · 14/12/2023 19:30

Yes more than likely but I’m probably just to gullible, we do watch films/series sometimes and eastEnders but then he will still be there flicking through YouTube shorts on his phone, but then a friend will call and he will go and sit outside in his car for an hour or so even if we was in the middle of watching something but can’t hold a decent conversation with me … lovely 🙄

OP posts:
EmpressSoleil · 14/12/2023 19:40

It's far more lonely to be in a relationship of the type you describe, than to actually be single. When you're single you just kind of get on with it but no one wants to live a single life in a relationship (at least most people). What's the point of that?

Honestly I'd be sitting him down for a very serious discussion and saying that unless things change the relationship is over. The longer this continues, the more depressed and worthless you will feel.

burntoutnurse · 14/12/2023 20:16

wishingwells · 14/12/2023 19:30

Yes more than likely but I’m probably just to gullible, we do watch films/series sometimes and eastEnders but then he will still be there flicking through YouTube shorts on his phone, but then a friend will call and he will go and sit outside in his car for an hour or so even if we was in the middle of watching something but can’t hold a decent conversation with me … lovely 🙄

Why does he need to go outside to speak to his friend? That would be more of a worry to me! Who is the friend? Why does he need to hide it x

Tara336 · 14/12/2023 20:22

God this post sounds like me 15 years ago, I tried and tried to make it work and exh just made no effort but said he loved me. I gave up moved out, divorced and met someone else, now very happily married. I do sneak.off and sleep in the spare room now and then though 😀

justdrinkingtea · 14/12/2023 20:41

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Treesinmygarden · 14/12/2023 21:31

Totally happy after 25 years in separate rooms!

Lovelearn · 14/12/2023 23:17

Seems like relationships often end up with one person avoiding the other. My wife goes off to bed really early and I have to put our 3 children to bed so don't see her in the evenings. She then wakes up at 4am and goes downstairs. She won't even look my direction or touch me.

AndOnAndOn1000 · 14/12/2023 23:41

I feel for you. I think you can be lonelier in a relationship than actually being on your own. It’s a sad loneliness.

EmpressaurusOfCats · 15/12/2023 00:28

I came on the thread to say no, because cats. But I think you’d be so much happier without him, OP. My relationship ended up like that & it’s hell.

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