Work place meeting with Ex

[Sunnydays1974]

So I've had a meeting scheduled for next week where my ex will also be attending. We used to work together in the same company until I moved on (not why I left), and still work in the same industry. I've had no face to face contact since we split earlier this year and am still being eaten up by it.

Any coping hints for leading up to and meeting around the table. I'm not looking forward to this at all...

Urgh that sounds a horrible situation for you.
If you can, sit on the same side of the table or on the same row but not next to them so you don't have to see them or make eye contact etc.
Is there a trusted colleague who can act as a buffer/run interference so you don't have to interact with them directly?

Doesn't sound like a fun day that's for sure.

Practice keeping your expression neutral.
Have a coffee with you so you can divert your attention to that at times if things are awkward.

Get up a little earlier that morning and take the time to look your best too.

Have 'somewhere else to be' at the end of the meeting so you can shoot off fast.

@Pinkbonbon excellent idea to have a coffee with you as a diversion.

I was just going to suggest a visit to the hairdressers and getting your nails done the day before. 😊

Ahh this isn’t a nice situation for you. I’ve had an awkward situation with someone at work so can kind of relate.
Great advice mentioned to sit on the side where you don’t have to see them if possible.
100% make sure you feel good in how you look - wearing nice matching underwear always makes me feel like I’m very put together even though no one sees it. It just gives a little confidence boost. Wear an outfit you feel comfortable and confident in. I find a pop of colour makes me feel good.
Also wear a perfume or scent that you like /brings good memories. Spray some on your wrist and if starting to feel really awkward etc you can play with your hair or earring so your wrist is near your nose and you can get a whiff of the scent which should have positive associations and make you feel a bit better.
Take a drink so if you have to say something you won’t have a dry throat (happens to me regardless of who is in the meeting!).
Listen to some upbeat music or a podcast that will make you feel confident. And make sure you’re prepared for the meeting as best you can so that you’re not scrambling to keep up during it.
Good luck!

I’d say develop a fault with your car which means you need to dial in remotely. Then you can swerve all of the awkward in person chat but still be professional in the meeting

Thank, great advice. I like the idea of magìcing up an appointment but then what do I do if there is a follow up meeting 🤔
Also thought about explaining the situation to my boss and asking to be excused from all meetings. But ìm not if I should being a private matter?

I think I would be inclined to take copious notes at the meeting so I could keep my head down when not speaking.

I would rehearse different possible interactions - greeting; your response if he asks how you are, and have these in my head to trot out.

Arrive on time rather than early, and leave as soon as you've finished (sorry, must dash, I have another meeting/an appointment after work) to avoid having to make conversation with him.
In advance, find another attendee who you can talk to, and a topic for discussion, if there are any coffee breaks.

Try to sit on the same side of the table but not next to him to avoid awkward eye contact.

*But ìm not sure if I should being a private matter?

I wouldn’t ask to be excused from meetings - it could hinder your career over someone who you won’t have any feelings for in a years time. Don’t put temporary present feelings over your future. Depending on your relationship with your boss you could tell them that you feel a bit uncomfortable if you have a friendly enough relationship with them. I personally wouldn’t say anything before the meeting though. You don’t know how it’ll go - it could actually be so fine. If it ends up being really quite awkward then afterwards you could mention it to your boss just giving them the heads up, but not making a big deal out of it. I’ve had bosses who I know would have been annoyed if I’d mentioned that, and others who would have been kind about it, so it depends on your boss and how well you get on.