Am I overthinking it?

[Dolly5001]

So I'm trying to work out whether the guy I've been seeing is backing off or whether I'm overthinking things as I got treated badly in my previous abusive relationship.

I've been seeing this guy for a month (not long I know) and we talk everyday. We meet up every 4/5 days and we get on really well. I don't know why but I keep reading into stuff , for example if the messages don't seem as lovey or frequent I instantly think he's going off me. He went away for a few days a couple of weeks ago and he was saying he missed me etc and couldn't wait to see me but now he's back it's like he's backed off on messages but when we're together in person he's fine.

I do like him and I see it going somewhere but I don't want to be to full on and scare him off but at the same time I want him to know I like him and make sure we're on the same page.

Any advice would be appreciated as I don't want to muck this up by own stupid insecurities

You are absolutely overthinking this and are way too over-invested. You barely know the man, you've only been seeing him a few weeks. At this stage it should just be a bit of casual fun and enjoying one another's company. Calm down and relax!!

I think you need to relax. It's early days and you are putting too much pressure on everything. If it works out with this man it will but it needs to come naturally. Put your attention to other things and let him pursue you. If he truly wants you he will make it happen. 🙂

Let him back off on the messages, it's fine. Some people (I'm talking about myself here) find constant messaging stressful and unsustainable. Relax, enjoy your time together and see what happens.

I wouldn't want to be messaging anyone everyday. I think most men wouldn't either.

You’re over thinking it.
from lots of dating experience over the years, my advice would be just be you!

relax and enjoy it x

You need to seriously relax or you would
drive yourself crazy analysing the minutiae of all your interactions. And will push him away eventually.
It’s been a month. Neither of you know if the
other person is right for you yet.
Let things develop naturally and get to know each other.

Thank you - I know you're all right, I'm just low from my previous relationship and think I'm in protective mode , trying to find red flags that aren't there sort of thing.

I get how easy it is to overthink things.

A test that works for me is what my life is like when I am with them, in person which is the only thing that really counts.

If time spent together is easy, enjoyable and better for having them around, have at it.

Yes life is definitely better with them in it and we get on really well in person.
Guess I'm just a bit scared of rejection and going back into a bad place