Internet dating - Can I have some tips please?

[Yurtgirl]

Truly innocent of how to go about this

How can I find men to chat to online - obviously would prefer "quality" rather than scarey/married/losers

I should point out that I am single and bored!

Anyone??

plentyoffish?

thats free

or else pay fro something like match.com

you wont be guaranteed anything tho, you just have to sort through them yourself really

Do you just want to chat online or do you want to meet someone online and move it on to face-to-face contact quickly?

Different sites are better depending on what it is you are looking for.

Be prepared to sift through a lot of crap.

loveandfriends is quite good

I dont mind sifting through rubbish - for a bit at least

What I dont want atm is to pay money - esp as that still doesnt guarantee finding anyone interesting

Will go and look at plentyoffish now

Thanks!

I've been talking on datingdirect.com at the mo - and so far have come across......

1 passive aggressive,
1 who doesn't know what he wants.
1 stalker type

and various others who have been ok to chat to, but not really fussy on meeting them.

be prepared thou ime there's been just as many after one thing only as there has been nice ones. am starting to notice quicker thou when they only want one thing.

for the most part thou try facebook - have met 2 lovely chaps from there - one is a very good friend now but no more.. the other - well who knows! lol. ooh also tried dating for parents, which was hmm, ok so so, but not overly impressed. POF wasn't for me thou.

OMG Im on plenty of fish now!!!!!!

Some guy is msg me - and turns out he lives in my village -OMG

He keeps calling me babes - and he is unemployed eeeeeeeeek!

get rid of anyone who calls you babes or huni/hun

i disabled the im thing, it was annoying

Agree with Lou, get rid of anyone who calls you babe/babes/hun etc.

I've also used gumtree quite successfully a few times, easier than a dating site, and free. Might be worth a shot if gumtree is popular where you live?

I met and married my wonderful DH through internet dating.

Firstly if someone seems at all not your type online then you can bet they will be 100 times worse in real life. I have a complete aversion to text speak and refused to reply to anyone who couldn't write properly.

Secondly if they don't post a photo, I wouldn't bother responding, they are likely to be ugly ( yes I know we should judge everyone on their inner beauty but I am superficial) . If you don't have a photo on your profile you should, just so they can see what you look like.

Third, agree short dates and quickly, don't be emailing for months you don't want a pen friend.

Must go DH and DS just arrived home, good luck, have fun.

Thankyou all for such useful advice and info

It was weird last night being sent messages by complete strangers - I felt such a weird need to be polite when what I was actually thinking was

a STOP calling me babes, hun, sexy
b Your spelling is appalling
c I fancy you in the slightest

There were some I could be interested in though so it is worth a go. I still cant get excited about paying for internet dating though - the guys on the sites you pay for dont seem any nicer to me tbh

Trouble is - I stupidly did not write down password and cant remember it now!!!

Hope you remember your password.

Worth thinking up a one liner for getting rid of those that you don't want to take any further, I think dating direct had some pre generated ones such as "Thanks I have already met somebody", kind of gets the no hopers off your back without having to spend too much time on it.

agree with rookie, aside from the reply thingy

just dont bother if you are not interested

Just found toyboy warehouse which looks amusing, depending on what you're after! I think I'm a bit grab a granny even for someone who's looking for a mature woman, but saw it and thought of Lou

I would recommend Guardian Soulmates, met a couple of ok blokes off there.

hahah been there and used it, but you have to pay for it now to reply to messages and i am tight

i did meet a nice guy from there tho, but not compatible for a relationship

i have a problem with the name of it tho, it put me off using it really, it sounds too demeaning

It does make it sound a bit sleazy - but fun for a browse!
[randy wobbly old lady emoticon]

lol I've used tbw too, but put off it now coz they charge. Met a nice guy through it but not relationship material in the slightest.

Agree with rookie too, apart from the replying thing, easier just not to reply to people you aren't interested in, don't waste any time.

If they haven't got a photo up, they are ugly. I also dismiss anyone posing topless on their profile pic, it gives me the creeps.

Set up a coffee date early on, there is no point dragging on emails for months. You need to know whether they are potentials or not and not waste any time on people who obviously aren't!

Set up an email address specifically for dating website communication that is seperate from your normal email and doesn't contain your full name or anything. Far easier to 'loose' the loosers this way

Hey! Glad you are entering the wonderful world of dating - its lots of fun and internet daitng is just one wayof doing it.

I have used Match and found that there were sooooooo many men that there were enough that I liked the look of. But, yes it costs money.

My top tip would be to relax and have fun. If you think if it as a great way to meet people, get out of the house and find out a bit more about what you do and don't want in a relationship, then you'll definately get that, and you might even meet someone special as a bonus!

If you can read, Sarah Beeny's guide to dating. I found it at my local library and it was very funny and is a kind of irrelevant guide to dating and includes stuff on internet dating.

Another tip I found useful - make your profile appeal to your ideal man, not lots of unsuitable men. For example, I like quite a few 'blokish' activities like caving and riding a motorbike which might put off some men. I considered not putting them in, but then thought, well, my ideal man would accept me as I am, so if they arn't interested, that's fine. There are plenty of fish in the sea and all that!!!

Let us all know how you get on.

Wow! Thanks for all the advice everyone

I have only tried out plentyoffish so far

• Brilliant response so far!!

My profile is short and not great at the mo, and no photo added, yet Ive had some nice emails and have been added to a few peoples favourite lists - well impressed!!

Also I sent a message to my favourite man on there and he has replied - joy oh joy

oh that's good

hope you find someone

Thanks lou - how is your search for a man (I lurked on a few of your threads ages ago!)

good luck yuirtgirl then

i am seeing a pof and he is nice.

What on earth is a pof ???? Goes off ot search mumsnet abbreviations...