I've come to realise not many people like me!

[Changeusernameforthisone]

As we reach the end of the year I've come to realise I've lost a lot of friends in the past year or two, not helped by the fact I now run a business with my partner and also gave up clubbing and drinking at the start of this year.

I've really tried to stay in touch wirh people, have mainly texted and also have called sometimes / suggested lunches, dinners etc and it just feels like the friendships I thought meant something to me have largely died, I have just a handful left. We moved to a different part of the country a few years ago and I put a fair bit of effort into playdates, suggesting coffee with mums etc and there were a couple who I felt I hit it off with but things have gone stale. I have come to the conclusion maybe I'm just not very likeable! They seem to have gone off me somehow and I don't go out to the sane places anymore as was worried I was developing a drink problem like many others in my family.

Not sure whether to bother trying next year with other new people or just accept my lot with my husband and kids. Never thought I'd feel like this tbh but have increasingly realised that it must be something I'm doing wrong. Maybe it's worth joining a charity as a volunteer because even if no-one likes me at least I will be around others and doing some good?!

Have name changed for this but it is an honest post, feel so sad tonight tbh. I know when you have kids your life is built around them but they are starting to become more independent and I feel I should be too now they are growing up a bit.

I don't think it's you

You've had plenty of friends before!

I've posted many times about similar, people vanished into their units in lockdown, I feel.

If you've changed your activities, that's bound to be an issue too, though that is disappointing, I know.

You could try volunteering, I'd say if you feel it will benefit your life generally, give it a go. But you need to accept you might not necessarily make friends.

Did your socialising with these people centre around pubbing and clubbing? I think sometimes people are drinking buddies.

It's the most obvious change you've made, so maybe they're the types that can't imagine having a good time without glass in hand?

Your husband likes you so much that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you!

Thanks guys...I was at a low ebb when I posted this. Just feeling low in self esteem because I've noticed various people have sort of vanished.

Think the setting up of the business and the stopping drinking altogether and going out has put the kibosh on some fledgling friendships where I've moved to.

I've made some decisions for next year- no more feeling sorry for myself I'm going to get out there and volunteer and be around more people generally if possible. Just for the company even if it doesn't develop into friendship! Thanks all x

I also think it's just that you've stopped doing the things you had in common (for perfectly good reasons). Your old friends are happy doing those things, and don't want to make the same changes.

What do you like to do now? What interests do you want to take forward? Get involved with people who do those things - you obviously have good social skills, although I understand it's a pain in the arse to have to start over.

Thanks @TheYearOfSmallThings I will have a think! Great questions. It's just sad because I thought I'd made some lovely starts to friendships but they've all petered out pretty much! So yep will need to start all over again. It will be okay, feeling much more positive tonight.

Time to find some new friends!
My wife and I found the same as we grew older - our friends wanted to do young, childfree things whereas we’d moved past a lot of it.

We now have a circle of great new friends who are very much on our wavelength.

Thanks @Deathbyfluffy good to hear!

I had the same thing when I realised that my life revolves around my daughter and the business I was building. The few friends I have left either have shared common interests, are happy to meet up every now and then and when we catch up we pick up right where we left off but most importantly respect that my life is quite busy.

It’s tough when life changes but I think volunteering would be good and joining clubs to meet other people with similar interests.