I'm so sad

[lostwithit]

I'm so miserable but I find it impossible to leave him

He tells me everyday he loves me but his actions tell me the complete opposite

I'm sad with him and im sad without him I can't win

We have a baby so it's hard to just walk away

I fear leaving him and he finds someone else the thought of that makes me sick

Im being so selfish .

I need to walk away I just don't know how. I've broke up with him before but after 5 minutes I run back and forget about all of the bad things he's ever done

I don't even know what I'm saying now I'm just so low and down , I worry about my mental health these days. I need out but I love him sooooo much but I know he's not good for me at all .

Without knowing any further details, what jumps out at me is that you seem very down and struggle with low self esteem and doubting your self worth. I think the best first step would be to see if you can start therapy or counselling ASAP to start healing yourself and start feeling better about yourself.
You can do this regardless of whether you stay in your relationship or break up.
The therapy might also make things clearer for you and help you with your decision about your relationship.

How old is your baby? You could speak to your health visitor about how you’re feeling.

What has happened with your Dh/dp?

You would definitely be spot on with me having low self esteem and doubting my self worth , I have zero confidence : (

My beautiful baby is 4 months 💙

I caught him texting another woman a few weeks back and it's broke my heart into a million pieces , he's also a compulsive liar does not know how to tell the truth no matter how big or small. He also has a severe gambling addiction that he also constantly lies about , he isn't financially stable at all

I never in a million years thought he would entertain another woman , since he done it I feel absolutely awful why I'm even with him I don't know.

Gambling addiction ruins lives OP, you should run fast before he sucks you dry. Your baby deserves stability and an addict for a father it is not. Let him go.

You can do this OP. You are worth so, so, much more than this man. The more time you waste on him, you are stopping all of the good that you deserve coming into your life.

I split from my husband who I've been with for over 20 years in the summer. I thought I would never manage on by myself. Turns out I'm actually fine by myself. I thought it would destroy me seeing him with someone else, but I actually pity him now that he cannot cope with being alone and his own company. And yet he used to call me needy and said I needed too much attention 🙄.

The right person might come into my life. They might not. But I am so much happier on my own than I ever was with him.

Sending hugs. I’ve just left my partner in similar circumstances. My baby is now 8 months. It’s so so hard because I love him but he isn’t good for me and won’t be a good relationship role model to bring up my baby in. I asked him to move out which he has, and in order to process what I’ve gone through and be strong I journal every day. I’ve just now written down all his bad points since being together and I got to 45!!! And a lot of them are big red flags.

Just remember that now you are not just choosing relationships for you, you are choosing a nice safe happy environment of love for your child to grow up in.

But I do also get the thought of him moving on makes you sick cos that’s all I can think about. Plus my (now) ex has never been single for long so he will probably be looking for a new victim to date asap and for some stupid reason I hate the thought even though I’m sure in time they would see what I see and put up with the crap I did.

Try and be strong, can you get space from him? Sometimes being completely entwined with someone makes it harder to consider leaving.