Pretty long so please bear with me.
Met the most adorable loving girl 4 years ago,absolutely my soul mate and we were blissfully happy for the first year.Shes 55 (me M58),no children or siblings,twice divorced second marriage (20 years) ended 6 months before we met when her husband left her for another woman..She also had a short 1 month relationship between me and her husband which she says was her rebound thing.fair enough.She grew up with no Father but a very close Mother up to the present day. She wanted me to move in after a few months which seemed far to soon but we were totally devoted to each other and talked of marriage etc as if it was a formality.
After a year the menopause kicked in and her periods stopped,we then had a couple of years of arguments over nothing and she was constantly tearful and sad mixed with the most incredible highs which was fine,but over this last year things have become unworkable and weve now very painfully split.Its now come to light that she has a history of depression and suicidal thoughts which Ive only just discovered,shes always been either very happy or extremely sad often within the same evening.Ive tried hard to be understanding but shes totally refused to accept any help,ive gone to counselling and been on anti depressants this year but she just sees this as me accepting the blame for our issues despite her being obviously menopausal and depressed too.All of her dozens of friends seem oblivious to her issues as shes always extremely happy around them so despite her history that theyre all aware of theyre happy to support her but none of them are real enough friends to tell her a few home truths unfortunately.Ive tried so hard to be understanding,i have four sisters so grew up in a female dominated environment but despite our incredible highs i dont know how to manage our lows without her getting some medical help.Shes absolutely refusing anti depressants despite them working well for her throughout her adult years and wont even consider HRT despite many of her friends raving about how its helped them with the menopause.Weve never lived together and are now totally no contact for the last month,shes asked for some time to sort herself out without the stresses of our relationship but has said to mutual friends that were done as to her i havent been as understanding as she needed me to be.She brings joy to her friends life but they dont see her at her lowest when shes crying and suicidal as i think she saves those moments for me which I struggle as Ive tried my best to help her.
She was signed off from work earlier this year due to work stress and has also lost a very close friend to Cancer recently so shes had a really rough year but ive always been there for her throughout it all just maybe not as understanding as shes needed me to be at times.
Im leaving her alone as she wont respond to anything or even answer the door to me now which is awful as Ive tried so hard to help her and love her.
I just cant understand why accepting medical help is so difficult as its helped her in the past but she just completely dismisses it and its broken our relationship.