How to deflect this texter

[LiteraryGoat]

I have a family member who texts a lot. Not close but still family.
Many years ago I cut them off for dominating my phone, especially at inappropriate times (job interview, illness etc) and when contact resumed they were decent enough to send emails. I said emails were best for me so that i can settle and relax whilst answering them.

As time went on the emails increased, so the back and forth started to become stressful once more for me. I created some distance and it flowed like that for a bit.
Since start of December I have brand new iphone. My relative is aware of this and has begun texting again. Is claiming her emails (all three of them with different providers) are on the blink all of a sudden. I am getting about 10 per day just asking inane questions and pestering me to answer. So far I have only answered one, saying if she would like to email we could chat further.

I have sent her 4 emails this week and no reply. I presume she is stonewalling me for not obeying!

Would you say I am right to ignore them? I am quite sure that she has no issues with her email and is trying to dominate my time again, since it is easier to dominate someone by text than email. I have told her twice this week that I don't like texting but no response to that. I know that I can't force anyone to do what they don't want, but I am feeling a bit pushed about here.

She's rude and/or weird. If she won't respect your wishes you need to ignore her texts.

Very odd. Is it feasible to block her number so she can only use email to contact you?

Yes I can block them, it just confuses me why someone would do that, it feels deceptive.
I suppose she knows where I am if she wants to email.

She knows I need my phone free as I have an ill parent and a ton of work texts, so don't like my phone being tied up. If I answered even one of them it would never bloody stop.

You can mute her messages so they will still come through but unless you actually pick up your phone and open your messages you won’t get notification of them x

They're clearly mentally unwell.
But that shouldn't be your problem you aren't their carer. Just ignore.
It's clear you feel guilty and a sense of obligation about the relationship, but just snip it off for your sanity.

Have you any idea at all why on earth there is so much texting?

She was always like that but never used to bother much with me. I had to block her years ago for a while to stop it. She doesn't like email because it isn't immediate enough for her. She wants replies right away, and the texts are just general moaning and same stuff every day. And no, she is not lonely!

Just tell her straight. There is no point in beating about the bush.

You tell her that you will only reply to one text per week or whatever duration you are happy with.

Sending ten texts a day is obsessive and unnecessary.

If she continues then block her number.

What's that thing kids do to annoy each other?

One says something and the other repeats it word for word.

You could do the same to her by simply forwarding each of her texts back to her for a couple of days.

that is evil

What's stopping you from replying with a quick "sorry, I'm a bit busy just lately, haven't got time to chit-chat"?

Or a more direct "for gods sake will you back off, you're suffocating me with all these messages"

I sent an email this evening saying hope all is well, and that I prefer email to texting. No reply but have received 2 texts since saying 'hi is anyone there'? Gggrrrh!!!!

That's the last I'm going to say since I am certain she has got them! I can mute the text notification but can't stop it vibrating and flashing. It looks like she's playing stalemate or something. Daft as it sounds definitely suspect this is an act of force.

@LiteraryGoat really honestly just block her. Why are you continuing to engage? If she's not lonely then this is just mind games and harassment.

Send her a text saying "read your emails. I won't be replying to anymore texts" then block her number.

Just ignore her or mute her notifications, it doesn't need to be a big deal. I have a cousin like this too!

Find the email thing odd lol. Anyway sounds like she is probably very lonely or has mental health problems. Just say sorry I'm busy and reply at the end of the day. I have some family members like this but its mental health so I put up with it but still only reply when I've got time

I don't know about mental health, but she has always been like this. If for some reason she was feeling needy, I draw the line at being hedged in. She never actually talks to me or asks me about my life, just constant updates about hers or pointless gossip.

Sounds exhausting. I like the idea of fire her back. You can start tomorrow with a text at 6am saying very important: what shall I have for breakfast? Porridge or toast.

Five minutes after. As you haven't replied yet I decided for toast but I burnt it and I don't have more bread, shall I swap to porridge or run to the garage to get a fresh loaf?

She will be the one blocking you. It is a Win Win

Get a chap to go in a men's public bogs and write her phone number in large numbers on the wall -

TEXT SCARY MARY IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME 07844 9213267

That'll keep her busy.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

She isn't respecting you or your boundaries. Block her on everything, and temporarily or permanently remove her from your life.

Respect yourself enough to demand respect, and act appropriately and accordingly when you aren't getting it...especially from someone who you care about.

Consequences include removing yourself from their lives.

You deflect it by blocking her.

I really couldn't be arsed with any of that.

Block her number and don’t give it a second thought. You can always converse with her through email on your terms, so it’s not like you are cutting her off completely. You are just enforcing the boundaries she’s chosen to ignore.

Who is she?