Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

Original poster

Splitting/mortgage

18 replies

Jj3316 · 12/12/2023 17:49

Me and my ex split and I have moved out the house we own with a mortgage (joint mortgage)
I'm currently living at my mum's for now I have our son 4 nights a week ex has him for 3.

I need my own place but It will take me months to save up for deposit/ first month rent plus furnishing it all.

He wants my things out this week. I've said if he gives me £10,000 now the house is his I don't want anymore from it in the future. However he cant take my name off the mortgage as the bank will say he can't afford it alone (even though he's paid it alone for the past 6months and the rent for two bed flats is £200 per month more expensive than the mortgage on our 3bed semi 🤷🏼‍♀️)

I've said he can keep my name on it so that he can keep the house. But we can get some sort of contract in place so that in the future after he's paid me the £10,000 I have no say in what happens/and I'm not entitled to anymore money from the property when is sells/etc is this possible?

OP posts:

LadyLapsang · 12/12/2023 18:01

You need proper legal advice urgently. Say or do nothing without it. Are you married? It may be a good idea to put a charge against the house to register your interest and stop him trying to dispose of it etc.

SerenityNowInsanityLater · 12/12/2023 18:08

Ok, so… if he defaults on payments and you’re on the mortgage, that leaves you in a terribly vulnerable position. You’re risking your own financial health by putting his financial needs first. If he can’t take over the mortgage by himself, you both should sell the property. I don’t think hanging onto a joint property is wise.

Getoverit1965 · 12/12/2023 18:10

Do not let this happen. If he defaults on the mortgage for any reason you are still liable for it. You will also likely be unable to get a mortgage with your name still on the other mortgage. If he can't afford to buy you out it needs to be sold.

Mylovelygreendress · 12/12/2023 18:11

if the house is jointly owned he can’t just order you to remove your belongings!

MintJulia · 12/12/2023 18:15

He can't just tell you to remove your stuff. It's as much your house as it is his. He needs to wind his neck in.

You need to go to a solicitor, and deal with ownership of the house properly. If it has to be sold, then ok. He'll have to live with that. DO NOT stay on the mortgage just to benefit him. It leaves you hugely vulnerable in a number of ways.

Original poster

Jj3316 · 12/12/2023 18:24

I did think about it he begins to struggle I'll be liable. Selling is of course the obvious option but we don't have much equity in the property and I have no idea how much it actually costs to sell a house as this is our first

We're not married, I am looking for a solicitor but I don't have the funds for one and they only offer 30mins of free advice so I really have no idea what to do atm

OP posts:

Inaspot21 · 12/12/2023 18:25

If you stay on the mortgage wouldn’t that affect your affordability checks for renting your new place? They’d surely deem you fully committed financially and you wouldn’t pass, regardless of whether you’re actually paying anything towards it. Not to mention the risk to your credit if he stops paying, liability for maintenance costs etc

Itchyandannoyed · 12/12/2023 18:25

As above, you need proper legal advice asap, before agreeing to anything.

If you forgo your share in the property, but stay on the mortgage, you will still be liable for the mortgage, and this will stop you from being able to obtain a mortgage in the future (and possibly anything else that requires a credit check). Unless there is a significant amount of negative equity in the property, I think what you are proposing is a very bad deal for you (but good for him). Being stuck on the mortgage with no interest in the property will mean that you can’t buy another house in the future so will be stuck renting. Where I am, renting is significantly more expensive, and less secure, than owning, so that £10,000 could be gone very quickly, meanwhile you will still need to house yourself and child for at least the next 12 years.

Original poster

Jj3316 · 12/12/2023 18:26

But I haven't paid towards the mortgage since I left so that's his argument for me taking my things out. Believe me I would if I could but I'm in a box room atm it's not possible to bring all my things to mums. I don't drive either so I'm just currently living out of a backpack and back and fourth changing the contents as I need

OP posts:

GrumpyPanda · 12/12/2023 18:32

Jj3316 · 12/12/2023 18:26

Your not paying mortgage is as it should be - he owes you rent for your share of the property since he now has sole use of it. Threaten him with police if he dares touch your things. You really should be moving back in to incentive a solution but he sounds borderline violent?

As to a solicitor, sorry but in your position you can't afford NOT to talk to one.

caringcarer · 12/12/2023 18:36

He's being a dick. It makes no difference if your things stay in the house for now. Don't agree to taking £10k and leaving your name on the mortgage. When a potential LL does an affordability check your name will flag up as being liable for a mortgage, not even half a mortgage, irrespective of who has actually paid it. You won't be able to rent. In the future you might want to buy, if your name is still on the joint mortgage you won't be able to. It's just a way he is using to control your future. Insist the house is sold. If you use Purple Bricks selling cost are small. Get 3 valuations from different EA. It cost less in legal fees to sell than to buy.

Ponderingwindow · 12/12/2023 18:42

Oh heck no.

you are likely entitled to half the equity in the house or half the net proceeds from a house sale. You do not need to settle for a token payment.

you do not want your name to stay on the mortgage. It will likely prevent you getting another mortgage. Plus you will be liable if he defaults or if the property owner is legally responsible for anything.

Original poster

Jj3316 · 12/12/2023 18:54

Thanks everyone we will see if he can get the house In his name alone and buy me out. Is this something we need to ask the bank or a mortgage advisor?

OP posts:

Getoverit1965 · 12/12/2023 19:04

Jj3316 · 12/12/2023 18:54

Thanks everyone we will see if he can get the house In his name alone and buy me out. Is this something we need to ask the bank or a mortgage advisor?

Try your current lender if not try a mortgage advisor. All lenders have different criteria so some may lend where others won't. If not get it on the market.

HappyHedgehog247 · 12/12/2023 19:05

Don't make big decisions in haste, under duress or without advice. Great that you posted here. You can cover a lot in a free 30 minute session. As others have said don't leave your name on it, don't be pushed into removing your stuff and don't do stuff to try and appease him/get this over and done with. It's important for your DC

imho99 · 12/12/2023 19:21

Speak to a mortgage advisor. Both of you together: it’s a regular issue they deal with. It’s called a transfer of equity.

Transfer of Equity is the legal process required to add or remove someone from the title deeds of a property, which adds or removes them as an owner. Transfer of equity is not the same as selling the property, as at least one of the property's original owners will stay the same.

Tinkerbyebye · 12/12/2023 19:43

You need to see a solicitor. Even if he gave you £10k if he defaulted they would still come after you as your name is on the mortgage

he needs to sell and you both get equity and start again

Epidote · 12/12/2023 19:54

No and no things don't work like that.
Do you have space to move your stuff?
If so move it, if not look for a place to storage.

If he wants the house he has to pay you the equity of the house and you need to do a transfer of equity and take your name form the deeds. If he can't afford a mortgage on his own either he leaves the house and you keep it or you sell it.

Don't accept to be on the mortgage you will have to pay it if he stops paying it.

There are mortgage advisors that can advise him or you about it. Solicitor will do the paperwork for you.

Flip