He slept with his work colleague the same day as me

[Maria345]

I need a reality check, I’m not sure why I miss him even though he has treated me so badly.
abit of back story.. I’ve caught him on 2 dating apps, I’ve caught him asking another woman for sexual favours and I caught him sleeping with his colleague when I went through his phone and she told me everything - before he cheated we said we’d remain as friends but it was clear we was still more than friends as not a single thing had changed and he would still tell me he loves me etc, come to my house, we’d go out.. he made me believe we was still in a relationship and led me on to thinking things between us had improved and we’d turned a new leaf.. now after all this he claims he loves me and I’m the love of his life and has been trying to get me back for ages now.

he had sex with his colleague with no protection multiple times, would lie to me to spend time with her.. would face time me the day after like everything was fine..

I know I do not want a man like him and when I speak to him, I’m so adamant that I never want to talk to him again.. however I’ve decided to finally block him as I just want peace but I miss him and I think it’s due to loneliness. There were times he was good to me and went above and beyond and he tells me to stop judging him on the cheating and look at the good he’s done.

I just don’t know what’s wrong with me and why I could miss a man as horrible as him.

any advice to never unblock him will be greatly appreciated

He tells me he will help me to heal but he’s also in a certain instance when he wanted to have sex to forget about what he done bc it was a long time ago.

He is a massive twat who will always treat you like shit. If this was a friend or relative being treated like that you would tell them not to stand for a single second of it. Now tell yourself that. Life will move on & be better for not having him in it.

You wouldn't need to heal if he didn't keep messing you around.

He will only make things worse. As others have said you're going to have to do the is at some point do it now.

You're missing and mourning the man he isn't.
He's shown you by his words and actions exactly who he is and how little he thinks of you (and his colleague come to that).

Block him and move on. New year, fresh start!

Well of course you can keep him blocked if you choose to. Your “hopefully” makes me feel like you already know you may unblock him soon.
At the moment you are probably only thinking of all his great points. Let’s not forget that right now he is probably speaking (and sleeping with) other women. Im sure he’s not that heartbroken by you as he never fully cared for you - or he wouldn’t cheat on you.

It’s totally normal to miss someone, love them and want to chat to them and be with them again. That doesn’t mean you have to do it. He will never let you go as he knows you’re always going to stick around and put up with his shit. Show him you’re not the same person any more.

I saw this on TikTok last night and screenshot it for myself to help with my breakup. It may help you too.

I appreciate your advice thankyou

Oh I'm so sorry, what a horrible thing to go through. Of course you miss what you thought you had, but it wasn't reality. There are stages to grief, and this is what you are doing, grieving. Look them up via Google, and recognise them as you go through them (and cycle back over them probably!). I have been angry, sad, missed having someone etc. etc. but in the end it's over, so over. Some couples get past cheating sure, but not this constant lying and repeats of bad behaviour. I took mine back, in face I chased him to get him back, then this year found he was sleeping with a colleague half my age. The shock takes a while to settle. I had a STDs test done (all via the post! great!) and that made me extremely angry, which was helpful. Please focus on YOU and look after you now. That is how you will heal. You have already started to heal and it will happen in its own way for you as you are unique.

Remember when you feel weak that your self esteem is on the floor. And who did that to you?

I don't want to be on my own either, somehow I always thought I'd have a nice man and family by now, but I don't. But I would rather be on my own than listen to any more nonsense from someone who never put me first. Put yourself first.

Block, keep blocked, delete all the social media, tell anyone NO when they try to update you on anything (I've had to be firm on that one).

Listen to IDGAF by Dua Lipa on repeat!!!!! xxx