OLD -refusing unsolicited video call. Red flag or not?

[SamW98]

First of all I’ll say that my OLD is 💯 accurate, photos all within last 2/3 months and unfiltered. I’m exactly who I say I am.

Started chatting to someone on Bumble Friday evening. Seemed to have a good flow of chat and a bit of back and forth banter.
So this morning he messages ‘good morning xx’ I was still asleep so replied a couple of hours later. The minute I replied he tried to call on the app but I don’t have access allowed in my settings so he couldn’t get through.
He then asked if we can swap numbers and chat. In my experience- though others may vary - that usually means go to WhatsApp then agree a phone call.
So I send my number and within seconds he’s trying to video call me. I didn’t pick up and told him I’d rather do a phone call first at which point he told me I’ve obviously got something to hide, I’m a catfish, probably a pensioner with fake photos and blocked me!

Now obviously the insults show me he’s an idiot but just wanted to gauge others views on if not answering an unsolicited video call would be a red flag or, like me, you think it’s someone you talk about first?

I don’t answer them

Yes. Flag to me as too keen 😂

Of course its OK not to answer, and should be discussed first as you could be somewhere inconvenient eg travelling or in the shower. He's just an entitled idiot, you are well rid of this one!

It's exposed him for what he is - a rude twat

Video or voice call - not on to call without saying first! You might be in the bath, making breakfast, rushing out the door…

Thank you ☺️ My friends all agreed but wanted neutrals opinions.

Tbh I old rather meet after a few days than video chat but yes he’s thrown his toys out the pram coz I didn’t jump on demand. Entitled man baby 🤣

Next lol

I only liked to voice call - usually once- before meeting to see what the chat is like. Never done a video call as not very photogenic somehow - but at least most have been impressed on meeting me as I know I'm better in real life than any photo/video.

On OLD I only do a voice call before meeting up, and even then I have to do it at a pre-arranged time as I'm a single parent with primary aged DC.

I wouldn't answer either an unsolicited voice or video call, as they rarely make that contact at a convenient time (for me).

For me once you swap numbers it’s normally a day or two on WhatsApp and then an agreed phone call.
I do understand some people are wary about meeting without a video call because they’ve been catfished in past. But I’d rather just go to a meet up. Worst that happens is you waste a few hours - that’s the way it goes with OLD.

It was the way he turned instantly despite my reasonable response. True colours shown very quickly I think.

The fact he’s flipped so quickly and thrown his dummy out the pram does show you’ve probably dodged a bullet with that one!

But in general for OLD, if I was on there I’d never go to meet up without a video call first just to be sure I am absolutely speaking to who I think I am. I’m married now but have 2 friends on the OLD scene and both operate by that rule. Rather be able to hang up the phone than have to dodge out of a restaurant or cafe! But should be agreed first of course

Heck no, he probably wanted to show you his todger.

Being accused of being a catfish would annoy me too much to proceed. It's mot like he lives on the other side of the world. Meeting is the plan. I would be more comfortable with a normal phonecall first.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yep too pushy. Instant turn off

i rarely answer videocalls to friends if unannounced, def wouldnt' a stranger

What?!?!

I never call before a date, never mind a videocall.

Are people that scared of being catfished these days?

I once had a bloke asked me to send a copy of my passport to price I was the correct age - seriously!!

He told me he’d been chatting to a woman who said she was 54 and when he arrived at the date she was in her 70’s and admitted she’d used her daughters photos.

But this guy today was just an entitled idiot. If he gets that pissed if over a non answered phone call, imagine dating him and saying no! Red flag walking

He did you a favour. He is an oversized toddler who has no understanding of others boundaries. He saved you the time and effort of having to deal with him. His instant need to see you was refused and he immediately flipped out. Not someone I would want to date anyway.

Wow, I'm laughing at the expectation that you show him your passport!!!

One guy I went on a date with left me at the meeting point for a whole hour before turning up.

My train on that day happened to be one an hour, so just as I was going to leave to head home, he turned up.

When I asked why he'd arrived so late, as he lived less than an hour away and knew the meeting time, he said he wanted to be sure I'd turned up (I texted when I arrived), as he'd been stood up previously by another OLD

And he still expected a second date!

He asked me if I could prove who I was before he agreed to meet because of his previous experience. I jokingly said ‘what do you want to see my passport?’ And he replied ‘yes that’s my preference or your driving licence’ I replied 🤣🤣🤣 you can’t be serious and he deleted me

I hate phone and video chatting, I go from chatting on the app to meeting in a public place within a week or so. I don't talk to anyone on the phone unless I'm close to them, and only video if we're very very close! This is totally normal for millennials and younger for sure. I know there's a lot of fake female profiles but that's no excuse to be an ass. Women have to put up with so much more than men do and we manage to be polite and nice while weeding out the bad ones, so can they.

I usually phone call prior to a chat - not to weed out fakes but to determine if they are worth an evening of my time (single parent, my time is valuable!) If they can't hold a conversation for 15 mins on the phone then they are not the man for me

I do usually have a phone call just to see if we can hold a conversation but it’s usually after a few days messaging and agreed.