Hi all I guess I need some words of encouragement??
I've held off for a year but my relationship is becoming unbearable.
For years I asked my partner to spend time with me, especially at bedtime I tried suggesting one night a week he come to bed the same time as me around 9.30 so we can cuddle, chat etc. He could only manage this a couple weeks then it felt like he was pissed I'd set rules. But the other 6 nights he could stay up late in his shed. After years of asking I gave up, he has slept on the couch over a year. We haven't had sex in 9 months. We have a mortgage and a 2 and 3 year old.
I have holes in my bedroom door from him punching it in when I was 4 months pregnant with my second child. He's grabbed my wrist and held it behind my back whilst I had my then baby on my hip, leaving bruising. I've out of frustration thrown a pot plant at the back door once and he's retaliated by dumping a whole plant and soil on my head.
We haven't had a physical altercation in about 6 months now but verbally it's terrible. He doesn't abuse me in a way where I'm walking on egg shells cowering from him. It's literally from arguments over standard issues, money, tiredness kids being a handful plus we are no longer intimate or close. He in the last 5 days has called me a cut and a slt infront of our kids, today he called me a fuc*face. He stays up late in his shed then is tired all day and then he's grumpy and doesn't play with the kids. It infuriates me so I have a go at him, then he calls me names and slams doors.
I'm beyond done with this.
I know renting is really hard ATM, I have no family to stay with, I am starting mediation but I don't know if he will attend. I would prefer to buy a small unit once we sell our home but I'm scared I won't be approved. I've spoken to brokers etc for advice. I'm just so worried I don't want to end up homeless but I don't want my children thinking this is normal. I'm not wanting to get police involved. I need to tread carefully as his dad tried to commit suicide and the swat team were called to his home when his mum tried to separate. I'm worried he has ptsd from that and I don't want him doing anything that would affect his ability to be a father as they need their dad too.