Leap year proposal

[rrrrrreatt]

Has anyone proposed to their partner on 29 February? I’m considering proposing this year but not sure if it’s a mad thing to do.

For context - my partner and I have been together for just over 3.5 years. We own a house together and have a happy relationship.

We talk about getting married a lot, and earlier this year he said stop saying if, it’s when. We discussed timings recently and he went let’s get married then but I’ve always wanted to be proposed to so I laughed it off. I’m not dreaming of something extravagant - just a nice romantic moment and a ring (again, nothing extravagant - I’d be scared to wear it otherwise).

It came up at a dinner party recently and someone said next year’s a leap year so I said to him I’d do it then if he didn’t before. I was joking but now I’m wondering if I should? I’m 35 next year, don’t want to try for kids until we’re married. I don’t want us getting married to come from a practical discussion but I’d rather get on with trying than wait for a fairytale moment.

I never get these posts. You’re committed, own a house together, have discussed marriage and children and are both on the same page about wanting them together. You’re engaged. Just get married. There’s nothing ‘fairytale’ about some kind of faux-surprise staged proposal.

I agree with PP. Being a bit blunt, your post is full of contradictions...

You've always dreamed of being proposed to - but now you're asking if you should propose to him
And then you're saying you'd rather get on with it than wait for the fairytale moment. And it sounds like he's on the same page?

You realise you don't need to have a "proposal moment" before you can start organising your wedding?

Start looking at venues etc with him, just crack on with it. If you want a ring, you can do that at the same time.

Yes, do it. It's a couple of months and if you're into tradition, it's the day to do it.

I know someone who did the leap year proposal and chap said yes, so why not?

And if you're 35 & want kids, best get things moving. Good shout to wait until after marriage.

Don't have a long engagement either. Crack on, you've been together nearly 4 years.

I’m with @Bicorne on this. I understand your desire for a romantic moment but perhaps you should start to see the romance in the prosaic (this is good practice for parenthood in any case). After all, you’re living a quasi-married existence already so in truth the horse has bolted. And I think it’s romantic that he said - let’s do it - when you last mentioned it. That’s real, loving commitment. That’s certainty and honesty. In my view, that’s way more romantic than some contrived, moonlight and roses moment. There was a poster on here some time back who insisted she wanted to be proposed to but kept finding fault with her partner’s attempts to get an engagement/marriage off the ground. It made me question whether she really wanted to get married.

And I struggle with the faux powerlessness of waiting to be proposed to adopted by some grown women who make their own money, own their own property and generally live independent adult lives. You have full agency in your life.

But if you do want a proposal then yes - go for it on 29 February. You already know he’s up for it so I would just crack on especially since you don’t want to try for children until you’re married. You’re 35 - your fertility will start to reduce. A proposal is one moment in time - marriage and parenthood are ongoing. Do you really want to risk missing out on parenthood because you’re holding out for a fairytale proposal?

i agree,@Dery — that was pretty romantic when you discussed it, OP. Doing some kind of staged proposal to ask a question you already know the answer to, when you’ve lived together for years and are committed to a future and children together is a bit like asking someone if they’d like to go out with you so you can get to know one another when you’ve been married for years and have six children.

I agree with other posters, it sounds like you're already engaged to me.

I agree with @Dery - you know you both want to get married, he's jumped at the chance to go and do it! You are already engaged effectively 😂.
Bugger one forced romantic moment, seize the day and see the true love in going for it.

are you trying to bait / shame him into proposing before you do it?

you're already discussing marriage, the ship for romantic surprise has sailed -especially if he knows you always wanted that and he still did not do it (dick move on his part, but that's another story)

You don't have to wait till the leap year if you want to propose. Has he said he wants to propose and what his timeline is? Or are you assuming he wants to do a traditional proposal? Does he talk about marriage as something that will happen soon or in a few years? I would get clarity on these topics before you decide to propose (so you can be sure it's a yes). I think the moment for it to be a surprise has passed - so only thing you need is to set a date (and buy a ring together if you'd like that). Leap year is only 2 months away so fair enough if you just want to wait and see if he does it himself before then.

I think posters are being unnecessarily down on the idea of a special proposal. Who cares if you’re ‘quasi-married’? It can still be a fun, special and memorable event no matter what stage it happens at. I owned a property with my partner and been together a few years before he proposed. We knew we’d get married and the actual proposal was wonderful. Such a lovely memory.

I also had a plan to propose to him on a leap year. My mum proposed to my dad that way, so I thought it would be fun. Partner beat me to it a few kings before that.

Plan something fun and go for it. Good luck!