So I don’t really know where to go with this, I’ve been with my partner for 4 months and relatively new to being in a serious relationship and so is he. We seem to be doing really well, we’re compatible in so many ways sharing many things in common, and even “joke” about wedding plans.
But he has this friend who frequently takes advantage of him; for instance, arranged to live with him then disappeared for 4 weeks after eating all food in the house, leaving him with nothing when coming home from a weekend with my family. He doesn’t have a lot of money and found it difficult to replenish the cupboards. Then she makes a miraculous appearance when he has been paid but still barely contributes and makes a horrendous mess with no attempt to clean up.
The only thing we ask is that she takes care of the dogs (rarely) when he is making a journey to my place for a day or so. Which again, she disappears or has an excuse as to why she can’t do it.
When she is at his house, it’s like a teenage sleepover, constantly having to entertain and feed her with very little contribution if any and it’s always expensive meals, and she always seems to come back when I visit knowing I’ll purchase food, help with the energy meter, and have a car.
Its even gotten as petty as removing my food from “her” cupboard behind my back, when it’s not an assigned to people…it’s just a cupboard, but I found it slightly disrespectful considering I’m welcome at his as much as she is.
We've contemplated me moving in next year instead to help with bills and build our relationship, and we’ve dropped hints to let her know that she would not be here, but that’s going straight over her head.
I feel also like I’m being pushed aside when she is here, multiple nights I’ve been sat alone on the sofa whilst she attaches herself to him at the table at the other side of the room, and always placing herself between us. He becomes distant with me hiding any affection and barely talking to me or including me in conversations.
When we’re on our own he is really sweet and attentive, the perfect boyfriend. And when we go to bed he’s cuddly and chatty. But just seems to completely change when in the company of his friends.
The worst part is, when I’ve mentioned it to him, he agrees with me, but then takes no action against her. I don’t want him to chose me over his friends, not at all, it’s great he has a circle of friends, it’s a lot more than I have. But I don’t want him to be taken advantage of because he finds it difficult to fight back, something that’s becoming more and more apparent.
Shes not even that bad of a person, we get along but it’s getting to a point where I’m becoming upset with being second best.
I guess I kinda want peoples opinions and advice. Am I expecting too much? Should I say something to his friend? Am I wrong in this situation? I don’t really know what to think or feel right now.
Any help would be appreciated.
Thank you.