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Original poster

Please can I have a self indulgent rant about DP

33 replies

SheikYerbouti · 14/03/2008 13:40

He is really fucking me off

He won;t help me do things tound the house.

This is a man who won;t evenm close cupboards in the kitchen

He left the house an absolute tip this morning (I go to work fisrt) depite the children being ready to go.

He left the breakfast things all over the kitchen. There is now porrige welded to the kitchen table

I return from work (after a 6 30 am start, having worked til midnight last nigh) at 12 30 to find the house a tip. He hasn't even bothered to put the boys' pjs in the washing basket, they are littred all over the floor

He will still expect me to have dinner ready for later, even though I have to drive to the next town to teach this evening

IU am, fucking exhausted. I spend all weeked cleaning and all week working. He does fuck all to help.

I hate moaning about him, but I feel ready to nburst.

I have had enouygh

The children are bearuing the brunt of it n- I do nothing but shout at them. I have just taken the TV away from them because I can't bear the arguing. I want rid of the fucking thing altogether - but his answers to all life's ill ism putting the idiot box on - he won;t tralk to me in the vening

I'm so fucking pissed off

I have talked to him about this so may times, but it never registers with him. He thinks his job is earning the money but I do as many hours as him. He forgets this.

I feel like walking out

OP posts:
hecate · 14/03/2008 13:42

Then don't do dinner, for a start.
Don't do his washing or ironing.
You don't have to, just because he expects it. Let him expect away to his heart's content.

Original poster
SheikYerbouti · 14/03/2008 13:43

I have tried striking

He just ignores the mess, and then I break and end up doing it because it won;t get done otherwise.

OP posts:
hecate · 14/03/2008 13:44

and when you stop cooking his food? Does he ignore that too, or what does he do?

hecate · 14/03/2008 13:45

And his washing/ironing?

CountessDracula · 14/03/2008 13:46

Tell him if he won't pull his weight then he has to pay for a cleaner

Original poster
SheikYerbouti · 14/03/2008 13:47

The washing/ironing just piles up

Food wise, if I don;t cook, he will go abd buy ready made shit from the supermarket

We are going out with my mum tomorrow - he will be golden boy as usual and I will be spening the day driving because he won;t learn to drive and my mum will tell me to shut up if I utter a word of complint

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 14/03/2008 13:48

Can;t you just cook for yourself and dcs
and don't do HIS washing

Miggsie · 14/03/2008 13:49

Sympathy.
Don't wash his clothes or iron them.
He will actually notice he has no underpants that are clean (if not...yeuch!)
Buy him a separate laundry basket for his clothes to hammer home the point.
Take kids out for meals and leave him behind.
Don't cook for him.
See if you can go away either on your own or with the kids without him.

Financial income is not a reason to be a slob...he sounds like he would be like this even if he earned 50p, he is lazy and just using his earning level as an excuse.
Basically he is an extra child for you to look after who will never grow up...is that what you want?

Original poster
SheikYerbouti · 14/03/2008 13:53

I just can't be arsed with the battle that will ensue tbh

I just want a quiet life

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 14/03/2008 13:56

Well you will have to live with it then if you can't be arsed to change it!

Miggsie · 14/03/2008 13:57

...well his behaviour must stem from the fact he knows he can get away with it then!

...are the boys going to follow his example in a few years?

Original poster
SheikYerbouti · 14/03/2008 13:59

I know I know !

Thing is, I have tried all of these suggestions many times over and nothing hoes through his thick skull and I get accused of nagging

He came out with the choice comment to a mutual freind a few weeks ago "One of the things I most about being married to [ex wife] is having meals on the table when I get in from work"

I was fuming

OP posts:
Anniegetyourgun · 14/03/2008 14:00

Had someone told me to shut up while I was driving them, I would stop the car and invite them to walk. I have in fact done similar, though not to my mother who would never have dreamed of being so impolite or unsympathetic. It sounds like you have had to put up with a lot of being trodden on, but the worm is not quite ready to turn yet. Gather your strength, as you'll need it all when you have finally had enough.

beaniesteve · 14/03/2008 14:01

seriously! If he needs ironed shirts for work, don't do them. Just for one week leave him in a situation where all he has on a monday are wrinkled ones.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 14/03/2008 14:02

He needs to grow some consideration balls and be a part of the house that needs everyones help to run.

Clear up any mess you and the kids make but not his.

He is a flipping idiot and I am sick of posts about men who won't help.

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 14/03/2008 14:03

Tell him to fuck off back to his ex then!

Miggsie · 14/03/2008 14:04

..wonder why she decided to become the EX wife!!!!!!
And that was REALLY horrid of him.

Original poster
SheikYerbouti · 14/03/2008 14:05

My mum has a v stressfulk hjob. I told her I was bloody shattered at Christmas, and she said something like "Don;t be so bloodty ridiculous, you don;lt know what shttered is" If I try to tsalk to her about it, she doesn;t listen. It makes me more self indulgent and woe is me.

I got upset a few eeks ago about something and all she could talk about was going to the supermarket.

OP posts:
jelliebelly · 14/03/2008 14:06

How long have you been together for? The reason I ask is that if you want to change the situation it won't happen overnight - if this has developed over years it will probably take years to change and that is assuming that your dp wants to change too.

TBH he sounds like a lazy so and so - if he's always been the same then it will be v. hard work to change him - if you can't be arsed with the hard work then you need to either put up with it or get out

NAB3wishesfor2008 · 14/03/2008 14:06

Don't tell her then. It is worse than not talking when someone answers like that.

You need to sort your h out. It takes a lot of work to run a house and he needs to do his share.

Original poster
SheikYerbouti · 14/03/2008 14:06

Thing is, he's not normally a wanker, I don;t know what's wrong with him at the moment

OP posts:
slyandgobbo · 14/03/2008 14:06

What's good about this man, SB?

OverMyDeadBody · 14/03/2008 14:07

I'm , seriously, especially the comment about the ex wife.

You need to make it clear you are not his servant, and you won't let him walk all over you and take the piss. Either that or accept that he is like this and don't moan about it, the choice is yours. Sounds like you don't like this situation, so do something to change it (what you have now doesn't sound like an easy life to me btw).

Original poster
SheikYerbouti · 14/03/2008 14:08

He is a good father
He is normally considerate
I love him

But I just don;lt like him much at the mo

OP posts:
NAB3wishesfor2008 · 14/03/2008 14:08

Talk to him then. Maybe he has work stresses but that doesn't excuse his failing as a husband.

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