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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I leave

2 replies

Sadandhopeless · 09/12/2023 11:21

I've been married for 14 years, 2 children with additional needs. I'm very unhappy with my marriage, have been unhappy for over 2 years and now at the point where I feel trapped.
I've told him I'm not happy, I've suggested divorce. When I say about divorce, he tells me not to be silly. We don't have sex, because he doesn't want it. We had couple therapy at first it helped then it stopped helping as nothing changed. Only his name is on the mortgage as my credit is bad. I have no where to go.
I'm starting to resent him as he has been able to advance his career and mine has only just started as I've been a stay at home mum. I will never earn as much as him nor will I be able to get a mortgage.
Even thou I was a stay at home mum, I've paid my way as received disability benefits. I've been the one who buys 90 percent off children clothes and presents. I've just bought all the Xmas presents.
This situation is making my mental health worse. I feel trapped and have even though about having an affair. I don't feel wanted by my husband.
He says he loves me, yet yesterday when I said I can't do this anymore and ended up crying, it was my son who was concerned about me and gave me tissues.
Also he snaps and raises his voice at me snd our oldest child.

OP posts:
Channellingsophistication · 10/12/2023 08:29

I’m sorry, this sounds a horrible situation. So you feel unloved and unsupported by him and he sounds emotionally unavailable. Can you talk to him again and explain how you feel in detail? Does he get that you are at breaking point?

You are working now and if divorced you would get half the house so it doesnt matter you are not on mortgage. Perhaps seeing a solicitor will help you feel more in control as you will know where you stand financially if you did separate and how custody would be arranged.

Sadandhopeless · 10/12/2023 13:45

Thank you for your reply. I've tried to talk to him. He burys his head in the sand. He thinks things are ok. He is supportive in that he does help with some of the house work and helps with our children.

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