CAFCASS - what to expect?

[Jo198622]

My extremely abusive husband is taking me to court for full custody of our 7 month old baby, after I left while he was out a few months ago. we haven’t had any contact for about 6 weeks now, and it’s helping me start to recover a tiny bit.

we both have a CAFCASS assessment next week, and im wondering if anyone can share their recent experiences of this or would be happy to have a chat so I know what to expect? I’m terrified that he’s going to manipulate them and lie like he does with everyone else in his life 😨

My friend had a CAFCASS assessment. They are court social services.

They are advocate for the child and child's welfare.

My friend has a telephone interview first. They asked her about the relationship time line with the partner. They ask about abuse that's occured and timelines. They ask about living and financialsituation. From what i remember she has 2 telephone calls. Then she has a visit from social service to her home.

This generated a report. Overall my friends report was positive and stated the child was in a safe environment. The report also included the father's responds to CAFCASS . which, in my friends case was hostile and uncooperative. They felt he was a concern and recommended for the child to have supervised contacted.

I cannot imagine a court awarding full custody to either parent unless there was something terribly wrong with living arrangements.

I have just been through a CAFCAS Section 7 report and it was handled well. Nothing ro worry about. Make it child focused.

Bear in mind that what you say to them isn't confidential. And they don't seem to have much commons sense or understanding of abuse and narcissistic arseholes.

Mine quoted me word for word in several parts of the report and it was brutal. They didn't even attempt to paraphrase it. i made a passing comment about him probably being narcissistic, they more or less wrote "Thequality think X is a narcissist"

🙄🙄

Apart from that bit which could have been prevented if id known to choose my words it was handled well similar to the PP.

They are a mixed bag with it seems limited training. But I would be astonished if they awarded much full custody of a 7 month old to a dad

Agree definitely don't try and give your ex a label like narcissist. Just stick to the facts

Do you have lawyers acting? There was an advert on Mumsnet recently for a charity providing legal advice for mums

Do you have evidence of the abuse (police/medical). I realise not everyone will.

@Guavafish1 thanks that’s really helpful. So much has happened over the years that im worried about how I’ll structure it all and get all the important bits in. Obviously will make myself some notes so that I try and stay on track.

@ThequalityoftheReps thank you, I’ll be mindful of my wording. I’ve heard various stories about how they tend to overlook abuse etc and how they are easily charmed by the abuser, which is a real worry for me. Will cross my fingers and hope it goes ok.

Write yourself a time line.. Bullet point important details. Keep it very factual. No hearsay or emotions really. Offer up witnesses who would be prepared to give statements about his negative behaviour. .. People in authority like mw or hv maybe? Work or good personal references for yourself... You need to look glowing. Do not slate him even though he is cunt.. Keep it for the safety of your dc's he needs kept away. Sadly you could have been his punch bag and they likely won't care... Read and te read any report you see. Highlight any untruths or hearsay.. Take a trusted friend or relative with you every time. They need to see you have good support... And so does he..

I will summarize my experience with Cafcass. After enduring years of domestic abuse, emotional and psychological abuse, and coercive control as a man, I had kept everything bottled up inside. When the proposed parenting plan and mediation were dismissed, I decided to initiate a Child Arrangements Order (CAO) application. Cafcass became involved, but it seemed that once they realized my name and ethnicity, as well as the race of my ex-partner, the situation turned against me regardless of my explanations. I felt unfairly treated, as I was legally targeted. Local authorities, corrupted court judges and staff, my son's school, GP, and even the police seemed to be instructed to violate my human rights. Despite numerous complaints, I am now facing persecution with impunity. The most painful part is that I have been demonized and have not seen my beloved son in over 9 months, as my ex was granted a Non-Molestation Order (NMO) without allowing me to challenge it. There is no evidence of any wrongdoing on my part, only baseless accusations from my very jealous and possessive ex-partner, who is European while I am African.

My Cafcass assessment wasn’t recent … however I treated this like a meeting - they aren’t therapists don’t necessarily want to hear about your marriage . My assessor was 3 hours late for appointment as system failed . I was very it’s fine . Make sure you are seen as reasonable .

My ex had a conviction for assault - they said it didn’t matter . I pointed out I was strangled with my Ds in my arms . It became relevant .

i had written evidence he admitted wanted to kill us both in a car . I based it on evidence ..

Do you have any police reports / HV /Ss that involve your child .

Do you breast feed . It can help reduce risk of overnights .

He won’t be awarded residence unless there are any concerns about you - and they would need to be significant .

He is showing in his application he isn’t putting baby first .

@Jo198622 i know this is quite an old post, but I wondered how your interview with CAFCASS went? I have mine in a few days and am terrified. I could've written your post myself….it sounds like our situations are/were very similar x