Inspiring stories of 'winning through' with marriage counselling (please!)

[dazedandconfused]

Starting counselling with DH on Tuesday after 6 months of separation. We both really want it to work but I am feeling very nervous about how we can build the bridges back to each other. Especially nervous about getting back the physical side of our relationship. Can anyone inspire with some stories of success?

Sorry. No success story but just wanted to say that it is reassuring to see people getting back together after separating. Do you mind me asking why you split up and what made you decide to give it another go?
My other half and I went to Relate and it really helped but he decided to leave anyway and is now deciding whether to come back.

hi dazed
I'm doing relate with dh and he has already started divorce (infact i signed papers last week) however he has been in touch with his solicitor to put it on hold, he has been gone 4mths and is going to be renting a flat for 6mths however i think we will still continue with the marriage counselling, trying not to pin my hopes up, the fact that you have both decided to give it another after 6mths speaks volumes and shows that you are at least both committed, I really hope things work out for you

Thanks TLV. I was sorry to read your other thread about your counselling session being so difficult. I don't know what your experience will be but I have found that (with individual counselling) sometimes you don't really feel the benefits until a few days later. I've come out of sessions feeling quite angry and frustrated and then found that a few days later I do feel a bit clearer about things. I hope that you and your DH get some benefit from going.

It's taken me 6 months to calm down after DH had a fling when I was depressed and very isolated (and behaving quite strangely myself, I must say). I convinced myself that life would be better on my own but actually it's not. I've need this distance to realise what we had and that it's worth saving. He has shown how much he's loved me since then by taking the kids and being really sad to be apart. But it's been a nightmare time, it really has.

dh came over last night, told me that there was still a chance for us and that he still had feelings for me, however he was feeling guilty about dd and leaving also said that we needed to continue with counselling but he couldn't promise anything, will see what happens now

If both partners are committed to saving the relationship & are prepared to make changes to their own behaviour in order to do so then I believe marriage counselling really can work.

In my own experience my H wasnt interested in saving the relationship & saw no faults in his own behaviour, so our only way forward is separation & eventual Divorce. At the moment we are going to mediation with the same guy who did the relate (not sure if thats a good idea or not) & once weve agreed terms will sell our house & go our separate ways. Unfortunately H refuses to officially move out & treats the place like a hotel, dropping in as he see`s fit with no warning, then flitting off to continue his life as a single man.

I really hope the counselling works for you. If you both want the same thing theres no reason why it shouldnt.