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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dave from Accounts and the Christmas Party

61 replies

ValerieVomit · 08/12/2023 09:56

Dave from Accounts, a few years older than me, asked me to a concert and once for a drink but I didn't go, because I didn't really fancy him that much. At the office party a few weeks later, which was in the office with lots of drink, I spent an hour and a half snogging Dave in his office, on the last day before we broke up for two weeks.

I thought about him all Christmas and sent him a Christmas card to his house that said the lines from the Hall and Oates song about your kiss is on my list.

Back to work in January he didn't say anything about it or ask me out again but I kept flirting with him and I did talk to him as of course I had to work with him. I started saying things I thought were cool that I had read in Cosmopolitan. He didn't do anything or take the bait. I hated myself and thought that he thought I wasn't good enough for him.

One night when it was just him and me left in the office, this was February, he asked me to go to the pub over the road, and he drove me home and snogged in the car outside my house. Then he said "I hope that has got me out of your system" and drove off.

Totally cringey, whatever did I do wrong to not be good enough for him? And why did I decide I fancied him all of a sudden?

He then moved on to another colleague who was 39 to his 26 and married her but they divorced because he cheated.

(It's a long time ago, in fact he's dead now, but this time of year always makes me squirm to think about it.)

OP posts:
YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 08/12/2023 09:57

😂I sometimes think back on the follies of youth and cringe soooo much. Yes I sound 90! Dave sounds like a well dodged bullet OP.

TheAverageJoanne · 08/12/2023 12:22

😂

TheMousePipes · 08/12/2023 12:32

You did well to dodge the Dave, he sounds like a proper twat.

SandyWaves · 08/12/2023 13:12

Love this, I was so invested!

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 08/12/2023 13:13

I think we can all look back to people we had a massive crush on and think wtf?

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 08/12/2023 13:15

The ghost of Christmas Past….are you going to do Present and Future as well? 🤞🏼

Moltenpink · 08/12/2023 13:18

“In fact he’s dead now” sorry but I actually lol’d

ValerieVomit · 08/12/2023 13:54

@Allthegoodnamesarechosen No present and no future at the moment either just the way I like it, but I might make an exception for Tom Hardy if someone has a crystal ball.

OP posts:
ValerieVomit · 08/12/2023 13:58

I've just remembered something else, I took him to a 21st party of one of my friends which I think was the following week, it was a Friday at least, and I was totally ratfaced and I was ashamed of myself because I thought he would think I was a tramp because I got drunk.

OP posts:
HowAmYa · 08/12/2023 14:17

Sorry I must admit I laughed at the dead part too!

Weirdly enough New Year always reminds of when I would use a temping agency and had a job for 3 days in a car dealership over the NYE Bank hols and a staff member took me to the cinema a few days later and because I was VERY NAIVE i ended up performing some gross sexual act i had never ever done before. He bought me drinks beforehand too. So it was the first time I'd properly drank too. I was so stupid, naive and besotted with him. I was 17. I hadn't even had a proper kiss or boyfriend by then.

I can laugh about it now. I heard third hand how he labelled me an absolute slag because 'what kinda girl does that on a first date'. A very very naive one.

I cringe when I think back to how much like a lost puppy I was around him. And how he dropped me as fast as he could and only ever got in touch to initiate conversations about BJs. I grew up very sheltered (Asian parents), and the lads in school bullied me so a man showing me positive attention was so new and so nice.

20 years later and I still cringe

5128gap · 08/12/2023 14:26

After you turned him down for a date he probably got another girlfriend. Then, because he fancied you, snogged you at the party. He then went and had Christmas with his girlfriend and decided not to persue anything with you because he was in a relationship. But couldn't resist the opportunity to snog you again in the car though.
His relationship didn't last, but by then he'd met a hot older woman and got together with her. Unfortunately for him, she realised after a while he was just too immature and left him.
He then spent years thinking if only he'd persued you instead his life would have been so different. He never forgot you and died of a broken heart whispering Valerie Vomit with his last gasp.

LakeTiticaca · 08/12/2023 14:41

I've been in your shoes (on several occasions) and I feel your pain.
I still cringe 40+ years on at some the stuff I did 😳😳

RIP Dave from accounts 😉😉

ohdamnitjanet · 08/12/2023 14:43

Moltenpink · 08/12/2023 13:18

“In fact he’s dead now” sorry but I actually lol’d

God forgive me but so did I

PanettonePuff · 08/12/2023 14:56

And me!

RIP Dave, accounts🪦

SignoraItaliana · 08/12/2023 15:01

Poor dead Dave.
You dodged a bullet.

I had a similar crush on Graham, the butcher's assistant, who would only snog me when no-one else was available. I hankered after him for years. Then I left home for uni, and went back after a couple of years. Graham was still working in the butchers, but I suddenly realised how short he was and how ugly his homemade tattoos were, and my love for him was over. He is not dead though, as far as I know.

DarkAcademia · 08/12/2023 15:04

I had a crush on a guy at work (can’t even remember his name now!) when I was 18, and he did NOTHING to lead me on in the slightest, but at a leaving do when I was a bit drunk, I the only other girl close to my age in the office that I thought he was cute, and because she was a massive stirrer she went off and told him that I was in love with him. He actually came down to reception on the following Monday to… apologise? And explain that he thought I was really nice but it wasn’t going to happen because age/work etc. I was MORTIFIED. He was terribly nice, and was terribly nice about it, but I don’t know how I didn’t just evaporate on the spot.

Totally forgot about it til now!

RIP Dave. 💐

OneFrenchEgg · 08/12/2023 15:05

Oh I think it's sad he died, he can't have been that old.
26 bless him, bit old to be thinking he's a player.
We all have terrible follies in our past, you wanted him because he was hard to get and that's what does it when you're young. Blame Cosmo.

Turfwars · 08/12/2023 15:30

We all had a Dave.

Some of use may have had several Daves before we got a bit of sense and some standards...

Renamed · 08/12/2023 15:31

DarkAcademia · 08/12/2023 15:04

I had a crush on a guy at work (can’t even remember his name now!) when I was 18, and he did NOTHING to lead me on in the slightest, but at a leaving do when I was a bit drunk, I the only other girl close to my age in the office that I thought he was cute, and because she was a massive stirrer she went off and told him that I was in love with him. He actually came down to reception on the following Monday to… apologise? And explain that he thought I was really nice but it wasn’t going to happen because age/work etc. I was MORTIFIED. He was terribly nice, and was terribly nice about it, but I don’t know how I didn’t just evaporate on the spot.

Totally forgot about it til now!

RIP Dave. 💐

Is your guy dead though?

MariaLouise31 · 08/12/2023 15:42

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

decemberchills · 08/12/2023 15:44

I would love to hear the lines from Cosmo. I bet they were epic!

RIP Dave

TheFireflies · 08/12/2023 15:51

OneFrenchEgg · 08/12/2023 15:05

Oh I think it's sad he died, he can't have been that old.
26 bless him, bit old to be thinking he's a player.
We all have terrible follies in our past, you wanted him because he was hard to get and that's what does it when you're young. Blame Cosmo.

To be fair we don’t know how old OP is, she could be 107.

I think we all have a Dave, though. Mine was called Kevin.

Marylou62 · 08/12/2023 15:53

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Think you posted on the wrong thread? But congratulations..

ArsenicInTheAppleTart · 08/12/2023 15:58

(It's a long time ago, in fact he's dead now, but this time of year always makes me squirm to think about it.)

Howling Grin

RIP Dave you big stud, the office Gene Hunt. Driving all the women wild.

ArsenicInTheAppleTart · 08/12/2023 16:00

DarkAcademia · 08/12/2023 15:04

I had a crush on a guy at work (can’t even remember his name now!) when I was 18, and he did NOTHING to lead me on in the slightest, but at a leaving do when I was a bit drunk, I the only other girl close to my age in the office that I thought he was cute, and because she was a massive stirrer she went off and told him that I was in love with him. He actually came down to reception on the following Monday to… apologise? And explain that he thought I was really nice but it wasn’t going to happen because age/work etc. I was MORTIFIED. He was terribly nice, and was terribly nice about it, but I don’t know how I didn’t just evaporate on the spot.

Totally forgot about it til now!

RIP Dave. 💐

Oooof I'd have killed the stirrer. Pushed her off the fire escape, dusted the rim of her mug with hemlock, maybe locked her in the lesser visited stationery cupboard and let her starve to death.

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