So tired and sad and fed up

[Eminybob]

Just that.

DH and I argue all the time. The DC argue with each other all the time. I get cross, they get cross. We all get cross. I work full time, I'll pick them up from after school club and they start fighting as soon as they get in the car and it doesn't stop until they go to bed.

Then the arguments with DH start. He won't "allow" us a cleaner but resents me for not having the energy to keep on top of the house. He does most of the cleaning but zero mental load. Anything to do with school, money, appointments, christmas, birthdays is all left to me. All meal planning, shopping and cooking too.
I've barely started christmas the trees not even up yet.

I'm so tired all I want to do is go to bed when the DC do. Or else open a bottle of wine.

There's zero sex, zero affection. We may as well be housemates. I went to a work do on Friday, got drunk and nearly threw myself at a co worker who gave me a tiny bit of attention. Nothing happened but now thinking about what an affair would be like. I don't even fancy the guy really and doubt he fancies me.

Work's hard, I'm completely out of my depth in a job I'm luke warm about, having given up the job I loved for a promotion. But we I need the job as DH has no ambition or drive to increase his shitty salary. We are always skint, the house needs so much work but we have neither the time or money to do anything about it.

Don't really know what replies im expecting. Advice, or maybe some reassurance that things will get better. I'm just so low.

But have you tried any of the suggestions that have been made in response to your original post?

Yes we tried tesco delivery. Missed most of the list each time so gave up. Clearly not very good at it probably need to try again.

Do divide and conquer with the kids all the time. It works as does removing tech.

Didn't get a cleaner. Tbh still too embarrassed until we sort the house out.

You sound so ground down, @Eminybob !

Not sure I understand the issue re. Tesco delivery? Did you just trying once and give up?

Re. cleaning: just book a one-off deep clean and go from there. Tell the firm it's an end of tenancy clean (the previous tenants were animals!) if you feel embarrassed.

What was the children's reaction to your attempts to discuss and resolve the issues?

How are things progressing with your work situation?

You have a lot on your plate, but unless you take steps to eat that elephant (one bite at a time...), you'll still be stuck in the same mess one year from now.