Work crush and head melt

[Pinapanda]

I got myself into a bit of a mess and I feel like a bloody teenager.
I have a huge crush on a relatively new colleague (not my
manager but in a more senior position than me). I’ve always stayed clear of any office romance drama but this time I’m ridiculously smitten and obviously embarrassed by myself. I think he likes me too but I obviously can’t be 100% sure.

If this wasn’t already enough I have a friend who knows him as they were colleagues in a previous company but I hadn’t noticed that they were also friends. I asked her a few things about him and she immediately noticed (cringe) and got excited and said “Oh God you should totally go out. He is lovely and really funny, and a total pervert” which confused me a lot because I can’t see how this is supposed to be a good thing. At least I have never heard it being said as a compliment, or is this just me?

I tried to change the topic but she was a bit drunk and tried to get back to it, while divulging some bizarre but harmless stuff which didn’t explain her “pervert” comment. I’m somewhat tempted to ask her what she meant by it but I know she’ll probably “accidentally” arrange a get together before I even know what I want. I know that I sound so critical of her and I don’t mean it that way at all. She is a great friend and genuinely nice person, but she is a bit “wild” and loses all filters when she has had even 2 drinks.

So should I even entertain this thought at all or shelve it all together because of the work situation? And if I don’t then what the hell do I do about that strange comment she made. I really don’t want things to get awkward. Sorry I know I sound like a bloody teenager 🤦‍♀️

A 'total pervert' could just mean 'not a prude, and (maybe also) not averse to a bit of shagging', my daughter tells me. No advice about dating colleagues except that I wouldn't personally if they worked in the same office. We'd both have to disclose it or face disciplinary action.

If you are both single I can’t see the issue. If things progress between you two you can then change job.
I would ask what she meant . Is he a womaniser? Maybe she has some stories to tell you.

Do you want to date someone who has the reputation of being a pervert? That would set alarm bells ringing for me - along with the bizarre stuff. He sounds grim.

I’ve found the best way of shutting down a crush is to imagine them sitting on the loo, trousers round their ankles with a poo hanging out of their bum. Reducing them to human beings with bodily functions usually does the trick!

@SirChenjins - a lot of people use 'pervert', as I said above, to mean 'a bit of a goer'. Of course they could have meant something else, something bad, and asking them would be the best way of making sure.

You don't know if he likes you back, do you see him everyday at work?
Could this affect your career? Is he involved in deciding to keep or promote you?

I would want clarity on what she meant by the pervert comment and also would only consider it if you worked in a company where you have no direct contact and there are hundreds of staff. It has the potential to backfire so you need to be wary.

A bit of a goer still isn’t someone I’d want to be pursuing - unless I was happy to be a number in his body count.

I am sure that she didn’t mean the comment in a bad way because she seems to really like him.
We are not in the same general group so there shouldn’t be any influence either positive or negative but there will likely be collaboration work.
Yeah I don’t want to get into a mess, and I don’t know what to make of him. So far he’s been super nice and at least a bit interested. But to me he seemed a bit shy and I was taken aback when my friend made those comments. Maybe I shouldn’t pay too much attention to her comments.

Ask your friend what she meant by her comment, and be very clear that you don't want any matchmaking from her end. It's so frustrating when people feel the need to involve themselves into other's business.

Personally I think it sounds like he has a bit of a rep and if I were you I'd want to know before I get into anything sticky. Be careful

Ask her. If this was the only positive thing she had to say about him it doesn't sound good though.

I met my boyfriend in work and I'm absolutely smitten as is he.

We worked together from two years then he left the job. We got together two months later and that was just over two years ago.

Life is too short op.

Thanks all. I’ll ask her.
He’s offered to drop he back home after the work Christmas party as he’ll be driving anyway, so I better watch my drunks intake before I make a fool of myself 🙈

Happy for you. Hope all goes well. Keep us updated ❤️❤️❤️

I love how sober you has agreed for drunk you to get into a car with a man who was described to you as a pervert 😂
Just joking OP, wishing you the best 😊

Haha, I’m not known for making good decisions 😂