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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Feel so sorry for my grandma :(

4 replies

MrsSnape · 13/03/2008 22:30

I've spent the day with my grandma and I feel so sad for her.

She's one of these people that has always gone out of her way to make sure everyone else is ok, she's ex salvation army, spent years working for nothing in an NSPCC shop, looked after her 15+ grandkids for years so her own kids could work/go out etc...

And she's had a horrible life because of it. Her first husband (my grandad) used to hit her, her kids have turned on her at various points, her own family (sisters etc) always looked down on her, she's always been poor...

These past couple of years have been terrible for her, first her son was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumour, then he died after which his kids accussed my grandma of "emotional blackmail" because she wanted his ashes (it became obvious his kids only wanted his money) and they were really nasty and horrible to her.

Then a few months later she was completely flooded out, lost everything... was left homeless then she eventually got her home back and she started to go blind in one eye, One doctor says it cataract but another says it isn't so she's convinced she has cancer (she has a mole behind the eye).

And to top it all off, her current husband is horrible to her, snaps at her, makes her do EVERYTHING while he sits on his arse, he keeps all his money and she has to pay for everything, he never leaves the house and so she has such a boring, depressing life.

We went in a coffee place today and she said "even if we (her and her hubby) just went out for coffee once a week...it would be something".

She's so depressed I feel so sad for her

OP posts:
PenelopePitstops · 13/03/2008 22:37

oh dea mrs snape that sounds awful, but what an absolutely wonderful woman your grandma sounds, she sounds like an inspiration to us all.

no real advice but i hope you grandma can be strong

suedonim · 13/03/2008 22:54

Would your grandma consider leaving her husband? Maybe if she's older she doesn't know how to go about it so perhaps you could find some info for her. How sad to spend what should be a relaxing time of life in misery.

WanderingTrolley · 13/03/2008 22:55

Oh your poor grandma.

bundle · 13/03/2008 22:59

nobody should have to live like that

one of my mum's aunts lived a similar-sounding life. her husband didn't see either of his children till they were nearly a year old (he'd just disappear) and their daughter died in infancy; she had to buy secondhand clothes and though they lived in the same house they literally didn't speak for years.

when she finally got a divorce and her own sweet little flat, he got bone cancer and she went back and nursed him until he died..she was a very brave, kind person and i feel like her life could have been so much better.

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