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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Gaslighting

0 replies

Hcwxxx · 04/12/2023 11:45

My partner (m46) has started gaslighting me.
I shall give a few examples, last night everything was fine, watching tv then he said
him - I need to go out in a minute to get some dog food from my mate for the dogs to try (his dogs)
me - oh ok what food is it?
him - wtf, why can’t you just say ok, why get funny because I’m going out for 5 mins
me - I wasn’t I only asked about what type of dog food
him - no I know exactly what you’re implying, if you don’t believe me come with me
me - I don’t want to come I literally just asked about dog food
him - it’s abuse what you’re doing, you shouldn’t question it.

so I left it at that. Later in the evening he brought it up again and changed it to me saying I asked why he had to go out, where etc. which I definitely did not. He would not accept I didn’t say it and told me again I’m being abusive and Controlling.

this is becoming more and more the same thing. I am in conversation with him then he tells me I’ve said something different, it feels like just to cause arguements
later that evening I was replying to my son through text and he said I was licking my lips and was clearly texting another man, I showed him the message and he still disagreed and accused me of deleting.

I can’t move out for a while, but what I’m asking if anyone else has gone through this what’s the best way to deal with it

hes a massive overthinker and believes he is good at reading people and never ever wrong.

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