we are south east asian family. In our culture its common for parents stay in children house.
back story :
my husband is the only child. His dad was left when my husband 2 years old and since then my MIL become single mum. Very struggling with money but always love DH and bring DH everywhere. Until he remarriage with second husband who is british and moved here. But the second husband is abusive and cheater so they divorced and MIL with DH again alone. My mil doesn’t have a house in england. Before we were married she stayed in her friends house.
before we married my DH always said that he wanted to bring my MIL stay with us. Back then i’m still young and stupid i just say yes without thinking long.
then we got married. My MIL sell her house backhome (in southeast asia) and give the money for us to put deposit down for a house. We managed to buy a house and make a house extension because my MIL helped us with money. We have another small flat in other city which is far and we pay back my MIL every month with the renting money that we got.
my husband is very very very good husband. Never cheat. I’m a SAHM and have additional needs kids. He always helped me with house chores, with kids etc.
my parents backhome is retired and live backhome its very hard so DH send money to my parents every month. Never complaint. He even sent my little sister to school. He always said that taking care of my parents its also his job.
we never argue, he is perfect in my eyes.
i’ve been living with my MIL for 10 years now and its soo hard. She is )9tears old and still healthy. My MIL its very nice lady. She cooks for us and never intervene in my marriage. But she is very messy, and she never ask our opinion about something that she wants for the house. For example today. She wants to build conservatory but cheap way. She ask her friend who is carpenter. Instead using glass she wants to use like a hard plastic. Which i bet look awful. She didnt ask me or dh permission. She just think that because she helped with buying the house so its her house aswell. Eventhough DH who pays the mortgage and its almost finished the mortgage. She like to buy tacky furniture without even telling us. Basically she makes this house her only house. DH donr agree with his parents and speak with her but always ends up with big arguments and my MIL crying. Then DH feel sorry.
i dont know what to do. To be honest MIL helps us a lot with money. Everytime she got money she do back extension and side extension to our house. But then again she never ask. She really think this house is hers. Even though we pay back her every month.
what should i do? I’m stuck isnt?. I really want my MIL to move out but on the other hand i feel its unfair for my DH because he helped my parents so much without even think twice about it. My DH really trying to make me happy and bought me everything that i want. He bought me my dream car as a anniversary gift. Never ever ask what i spent. We really love each other and we still really in love. I would never imagine to find someone who is better than DH for me. Especially with helping my family back home. Because without money from us my family dont have anything even food. I feel really grateful for DH. I really respect him. And the only thing that he wants from me is bring his mum to our home. but its hard 🥲🥲
what should i do??