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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is my marriage over?

3 replies

Formulaonefan · 03/12/2023 22:21

I’ve been with my husband for over 13 years in total and married for just over 8.

For the past few years it has felt like my marriage is failing. We have a 6 year old son and it feels like we have conflicting views on how to parent. I was also looking forward to motherhood and making memories together as a family but it feels like this is chore a lot of the time for my husband.

My husband does suffer with depression and is a glass always empty kind of guy. I feel that sometimes it’s like he is being cruel to me and he has said some pretty hurtful things I have struggled to forget. In every birthday card he writes that he is sorry for being like that but the apologies don’t seem to heal my feelings as much as they used to.

I’ve spent the past few months feeling very sad and just wishing I was single. I don’t find him attractive anymore or want him to touch me and now I actually prefer just doing things at the weekend with my son and I alone as I know there will be no moaning.

I do feel that we would be much better apart but even though he has also not happy he has said if we split up it will break his heart. I would also worry about his mental health as in the past he has talked about killing himself.

i don’t have any close friends and find it difficult to confide with family so I just have overwhelming feelings of sadness and I’m not sure what to do. I suppose I’m just reaching out to see if there is anyone else in a similar situation and how you are coping

OP posts:
HavingToStartAgain · 03/12/2023 22:34

Well you can’t spend the rest of your life living in misery, wishing you weren’t together, just for his sake. What about YOU? That’s also not the relationship model you want to be teaching your DS. It sounds as if you are pretty much living as if you are a single parent anyway. Maybe it will be New Year New Life for you?

ferntwist · 10/08/2024 20:42

OP I’ve just come across your post. I’m not sure if you’ll see this, but just to say I hope you’re in a much better place now and have found a peaceful way forward for you and your son. It’s awful that your husband felt it was okay to say hurtful things to you and then apologise on your birthday

PickledMuffin · 10/08/2024 20:51

Glad for the bump. OP. how are you and how are things? Life sounded miserable for you when posted. i really hope you and your son are in a more happy place x

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