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Original poster

First Christmas post separation. This is hard!

29 replies

Stargazer46 · 03/12/2023 19:16

So I split up from my husband of 22 years 7 months ago and am finding the whole Christmas thing really tough. I’d never realised before how early the run up to Christmas starts! Christmas Day my ex will actually be at mine because I didn’t think him spending the day on his own would be good for him or our sons (they’re 14 & 18) I can’t say I’m looking forward to it and just want to wake up and be in 2024 with none of the Christmas / New Years stress in the middle.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stargazer46 · 06/12/2023 20:39

Somemenareshit · 06/12/2023 16:10

It is my first Christmas single after 20 years and I’m really struggling with it also. I will be spending the day with my two young children and family. My ex has been invited in the morning to watch the kids open presents from Santa but he has declined as I won’t invite his new wife who he married 4 months after we split. I’m very much struggling with how fast he has just moved on and I’m left picking up the pieces.
I think you are a very kind person to invite your ex but agree with others that you should set a time limit and not serve alcohol whilst he is there

It’s really hard isn’t it. 4 months after you split! Wow. No wonder you don’t want anything to do with her. I hope your Christmas is as good as can be. Next year will clearly be our year! I hope.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stargazer46 · 06/12/2023 20:44

Loopytiles · 06/12/2023 20:29

That’s fine if he doesn’t come over, then, just make the change now, he prioritises drinking over his DC then he can spend time with the DC without you there on another day.

if he wants a drink and doesn’t get it at your place it’ll probably make him leave sooner, which will work for you!

I have to admit to being tempted to say fine don’t come over and make him tell our sons why.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stargazer46 · 06/12/2023 20:47

Iknowtheyareusefulstorage · 06/12/2023 20:35

btw OP, sounds like you are trying really hard x

Thank you. I really am trying but feel like he keeps putting himself first.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stargazer46 · 06/12/2023 20:49

FairyPolka · 06/12/2023 20:37

The first one is really hard. I’m 5 years on now (amicable with ex) and both ex and I are in new relationships. Neither of the new partners have children. Our children are late teens now and since we split, we have done Christmas stocking opening all together, usually on Christmas Eve as our dc often work on Christmas Day. Some might think that weird but I don’t care, works for us. Promise you it gets easier.

I am really hoping it gets easier. I’ve always loved Christmas and currently I hate it and just want it to be over. I don’t think it’s weird, it’s what I’m hoping to achieve.

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