Stalking

[Anon0018]

Cut a very long story short my partners ex wife is still very obsessed with him, and subsequently me now I am with him. They have been divorced over 10 years and she is married to a new partner. He has cut all contact with her since last year as his children are now old enough that he can just speak to them directly and pick them up etc, they are 17+
She can be very emotionally abusive to her children and the last incident we went to pick his daughter up when she was upset and she came out and verbally abused us, his daughter recorded it and sent it to the police. She hasn’t done it again since. But she will write all over Facebook, horrible things about my partner.
My issue now is that she has booked into my work. I work in a cosmetic clinic with just me and the doctor there. He has said legally he can’t refuse to treat her as he could get in trouble with the GDC. She knows I work there and has done this on purpose. She’s very mentally unstable and I believe she may have a disorder such as ASPD or narcissism.
If I was to call the police would they be able to do anything, like stop her from coming into my work or will it fall on deaf ears with them? I believe this is that start of stalking now as she hasn’t been able to have any contact with either of us for a year as she is blocked on everything. She also doesn’t know where we live, but I’m not sure they will take me serious as she will just pretend she has booked in because she genuinely wants cosmetic treatment (there are plenty of other places she could of chosen) and she definitely knows I work there. what can I do? I’m under confidentiality contracts also so I cannot even tell anyone she’s been in (she will know this) otherwise she wouldn’t of done it if I could tell people as she wouldn’t want to be seen as “crazy” she’s very good at lying and manipulation also. Anything I can do? I really don’t want her coming into my work on a regular basis.

I’m not sure the police would do anything as like you say she could just say she genuinely wants treatment. Could you call in sick on the day she’s scheduled to come in? At least then she wouldn’t see you and/or follow you home.

I could, my boss totally understood and said he will try his best to put her off but if she decides to have treatment she will become a regular. And I honestly believe if I avoid being there when it’s her appointments she will get worse. He behaviour gets worse and worse the less she can have contact. It’s very worrying. It’s embarrassing having to explain my personal life to my boss also. She will be nice as pie to me as she doesn’t show her true colours if she can avoid it. so I’m not worried about that but her behaviour is just worrying. She done the same with his ex and did manage to split them up but she has never had a reaction from me and now his children are older he doesn’t need contact with her and she doesn’t like it. She really needs to be sectioned and get the help she needs but it’s very hard. I don’t know what to do.

I presume this is a private dental clinic you work in? He doesn't have to provide any treatment for her, if he can provide a good reason (reasonable grounds) if questioned about it. If she was even to report him. Which you clearly have with your history with her. It is not discrimination to put the safety of your staff first. You should refuse to work with this lady as a patient. I'd expect a good employer to be understanding about this and he should be putting the safety of you, as his employee, first. He has a duty of care to his staff and not putting you in any situations that could be potentially harmful or upsetting for you. I'd remind him of this. I'd also contact the police for advice about this as well to be honest.

It’s a private treatment and your boss absolutely can and should cancel her. Put the safety and well-being of his staff first.

Hire private security for her appointments. I have worked at several places that brought in private security guards for specific times due to employees' stalkers.

I don't know why your boss says he has to treat her. There's no law saying he has to.

In fact I think he'd be opening himself up to being sued because it's pretty obvious she's nuts - she's very likely to say he hasn't done what she wanted or that what you did has ruined her looks.

Would he treat her if she was stalking him or his wife? No!

Thank you I am going to remind him of this tomorrow and tell him she is already on police files as being abusive towards me. I will also log it with the police so it’s on file

Thanks, he did say he is worried about this also. But he’s worried he would get in trouble from the medical council is she reports him but I will explain he has reasonable grounds and has to protect his staff

Can't he just give her a really ugly new nose or some horns or something?

🤣 I wish!

Can't he just seek advice from the GMC or whoever his regulatory body is? Usually phone advice is easy to obtain and this will reassure him that he is able to refuse to treat her

Any update op? Did you manage to persuade your boss to do the sensible thing?