Anyone else feel awful after dealing with a narcissist ex?

[Statementdress]

Was supposed to be my ex’s weekend with the kids. One of them wasn’t feeling well, and wanted to go to dads later in day.

This messed up my weekend plans but wanted to respect DS’s feelings.

However, this results in 4 hour negotiations with ex who then wants to change weekend etc because he has lost a couple of hours of time.

I’m left feeling drained, angry and upset and my evening was ruined just because I had to interact with my ex. I can’t put my finger on anything he did that was wrong, but he’s such an untrustworthy, manipulative person to deal with I always feel depressed and angry dealing with him.

Does anyone else experience this? It’s been years since we split, I minimise contact as much as possible but he is vile.

All the time. Mine has given me PTSD.

yesterday - returned ds 45 min late, no response to my worries texts. Had sent ds on out of town trip in freezing cold weather with his adult sister (as ex can’t be bothered to look after him himself despite only seeing him for a day 1 overnight st weektnd). Had swiped his thick winter coat for a thin one, which is hardly appropriate for this weather. Ds had soiled his trousers as his sister hadn’t bothered taken him to the toilet before they boarded the ‘rail replacement ‘ bus.

ds is regularly returned late , 95% of time in fact, leading to his bed time routine being disrupted and me going to work later as ds tired.

and I am expected to ‘promote contact?

@DimSun777 its just relentless isn’t it? Your poor DS. Funnily enough I’ve had similar issues with winter jacket being swapped for thin one. It’s so exhausting.

does it ever make you doubt your abilities as a parent?

No. I know now that his behaviour is not normal, he’s just using our child to punish me which is awful enough.

i don’t engage with him unless I have to and do so via a co parenting app. I’ve learnt this the hard way. Also stick to any rules agreed/imposed

but you are right - it is horrid. I’m in the middle of a child arrangements battle with him at court atm

Yes - I think sticking to arrangements rigidly is the best plan.

Hope the court hearing goes well.

I was very much trauma bonded to my ex husband and have PTSD from it. I try not to speak to him unless really have to, he really gets my back up. He always comes across so patronising and always makes digs on purpose. On the days he sees our child my anxiety it sky high knowing have to see him that day. Honestly wish I didn't have to see or speak to him ever again but have to for our child's sake

Ended yp a virtual prisoner as he broke the contact order every other weekend for years. Still get vague threats if I dare to leave the house or socialise. Everything I do ir say gets back to him. Planning to move far away soon