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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Would you end it over this

17 replies

NicholJO · 02/12/2023 19:47

Hi MN after advise please myself and my partner. been together 11 years have ds9 and dd4 I'm a stay at home mum partner not working due to a minor disability. My issue is for 11 years I have put on the back burner stuff I find interesting or films I like so recently I have been watching my tudor history interest a few old black and white Christmas films and norman wisdom all with headphones in so he doesn't have to hear it. Now he's calling me selfish/ boring I'm ignorant as nobody other than me likes the shite I watch but he's OK to watch football or star wars and star trek to his hearts content he just goes on and on at me I feel I can't read a good book without the repercussions

OP posts:
Giraffescarf · 02/12/2023 19:51

No I wouldn't. Nobody is perfect and in the bigger scheme of things this isn't a major problem.

Joke it off, laugh at his TV choices.

ElizabethVonArnim · 02/12/2023 19:52

I almost always say no to this question but in this case I think maybe yeah. He sounds like a bullying arsehole who isn't nice to you.

Didydani · 02/12/2023 19:56

Agree with this reply op! Who cares what he thinks. You shouldnt have to deal with any repercussions for listening to or watching what you like, especially when it's not bothering him and you've been considerate enough to use headphones. What a wanker

Didydani · 02/12/2023 19:57

I agree with ElizabethVonArnim reply, that should say

Original poster
NicholJO · 02/12/2023 20:00

I have tried laughing it off but it's constant I have to ask him if I'm OK to watch something even with headphones in and I do feel he bully's me so I give up and don't watch my stuff I get its boring to him but he doesn't hear it but I have to hear his football or star wars

OP posts:
JaxiiTaxii · 02/12/2023 20:04

I have to ask him if I'm OK to watch something even with headphones in

Why? What happens if you don't ask permission?

SpringleDingle · 02/12/2023 20:16

Don’t ask for his permission!! He sounds like a thoroughly unpleasant arse. Yes, I would dump such a man. I want a guy who actually cares about me!!

TomatoSandwiches · 02/12/2023 20:18

Yeah I'd leave someone like that.

Original poster
NicholJO · 02/12/2023 20:20

I ask because otherwise he will have a face like thunder I'm seriously considering ending the relationship but I have to wait a little while due to me needing x-ray on my chest if I get the all clear he's out the door the only thing that will break my heart is my 9 year old little boy likes to play ps4 with daddy

OP posts:
NYCvibing · 02/12/2023 20:21

What redeeming qualities does he have?

What happens if you were to tell him to shut his pie hole when he starts?

(Do not say this if you fear violence)

Atethehalloweenchocs · 02/12/2023 20:36

Whether he likes your choices or not is by the by - he is rude, demeaning and controlling. Lots of people have tastes their partners dont share, but dont get verbally abused for it. If he does not stop calling you names, there is no good future in this relationship.

Original poster
NicholJO · 02/12/2023 20:41

Thank you all so much for replying it's really made me open my stupid eyes yes it's definitely demeaning and abusive I get called all the names under the sun sometimes I feel like giving up on my interest I know its not everyone's cup of tea but I enjoy tudor history I love reading but there is honestly no give and take with him

OP posts:
muchalover · 02/12/2023 20:46

As you are not working you will probably need to resolve this first. With the youngest 4 you will be required to work even if you top it up with UC.

I think life is far shorter than you think. He is preventing you doing things you enjoy and this is making you unhappy. Leave him.

determinedtomakethiswork · 02/12/2023 20:50

End this relationship. He is controlling and stupid as well. He's also very very selfish. You deserve so much better than this. be prepared for him to cry, blame you, blame himself, blame everyone, cry some more, and then eventually find someone else. Let's hope it's someone who also doesn't put up with that shit

NYCvibing · 02/12/2023 20:51

Even people in prison are allowed to watch TV.

GreyCarpet · 02/12/2023 21:01

I ask because otherwise he will have a face like thunder

Don't look at him and leave him to it.

Find humour in his stupid face and stupid rules. Get yourself sorted and leave.

Original poster
NicholJO · 02/12/2023 21:01

muchalover I have every intention of returning to work in the very near future I had to give up due to my little 4 year old girl needing 12 hour skull surgery 13 weeks ago to relive pressure from around her brain she's doing amazing thank god so will hopefully be back at work early new year if I can find a suitable nursery as she's also none verbal autistic

OP posts:
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