How can I go about meeting men after work?

[Spain1986]

Hi all, I would really like to find someone to share my world with. However, online dating hasn’t worked for me. I don’t have friends who introduce me to anyone and evening classes have cost me lots, but not many people attend. The numbers dwindle as the weeks go on. What could I do to meet men after work everyday? Everyone is always with people when I go to pubs. Any advice would be great. It would be good to meet some genuine men in the evenings after work.

Gym or sports club? I’m not sporty myself but hear tennis clubs are friendly places.
Or Meet Up?

Sports activities. Or walking groups at the weekend

Move back to London and get your career going again. Also, be yourself, why not say you went to the opera at the weekend and Jonas Kaufmann gave a spectacular performance, in the way that colleagues will tell you about the the highs and lows of football and rugby.

I hate all this talk of A grade people dating B grade people and I often think some parents make it harder for their DCs to date decent people by buying them really expensive properties when they are 20s - early 30s. I’m not talking about people doing well professionally with a bit of help for the deposit from their family but parents buying 1-2 m properties. They would have been better off flat sharing and making their own way rather than second guessing the motives of all their dates.

I think the issue of children also needs to be considered. If you don’t want children, then the issue is finding someone on the same page. You can be out at the opera, professional networking events, political / think tank events, dinner and drinks with friends, working late etc. but if you do want children, how will things look? Will nanny do bedtime, will you share, or do you want to be out and your partner picks up on the home front?

It used to be the launderette in my day.

Without being negative, it’s unlikely. Old is
yiur best bet.

at the gym people are working out, you will have people from 20 up to 70, and many will be in relationship. It may happen but at least old you know people are looking for something

Where do you live OP? City or country? And what kind of guy do you want to meet?

OLD isn’t for everyone, personally I think it’s difficult to find someone that way for a genuine lasting connection, starting with the premise of shopping for people.

How about meeting men at work? A bit risky but they’ll be likely most aligned to you.

Outside work, recently conversations have started in the swimming club (you start seeing the same faces and it goes from there), book shops, little local cafes at non-busy times, the pub, hotel bars - I wfh so often work from places like that. I feel like for a man to chat to you it either needs to be very quiet at the venue, or quite busy and social, everyone talks to everyone kind of vibe. Having an open body language and looking like you’re having fun/ open to conversation helps!

Attend every social event you’re invited to.

Do you talk to people yourself or wait to be spoken to?

I’m yet to meet a man through those conversations that interests me so I just regard them as friendly banter and continue with my day but who knows, one day.

My question at this point is more ‘where do I meet men that I can fall in love with?’ but that’s a far trickier question!