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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Ended things, feel really upset

6 replies

Magpie290 · 02/12/2023 11:38

ended things last night after weeks of constant stress and walking on eggshells. He would go from being incredibly loving, kind and thoughtful to ignoring me at random, going after other women and denying it/gaslighting me, being really loving again, then shouting at me and calling me awful names until I ended up apologising even though I did nothing wrong.

I know it sounds ridiculous writing it down that I didn’t leave straight away but I really love him and ending it has been one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done in my life. Part of me wants to go back on what I said even though he has been making my life completely miserable. Every day I wake up worried about how he will treat me on that day, it’s truly awful.

I suppose I just want some reassurance that I’ve made the right choice and in time I won’t feel so heartbroken. I feel like I have lost the love of my life, even though he treated me so badly, because I keep thinking back to the good parts. I know how stupid I have been

OP posts:
Magpie290 · 02/12/2023 11:40

I feel so emotionally burnt out from his constant mind games

OP posts:
Bonbon21 · 02/12/2023 11:41

He is/was not the love of your life.

The love of your life would love you the way you love him.

He did not deserve you.

Move on.

AllEars112232 · 02/12/2023 12:00

You have done the right thing! The pain will go but it will take time.
Be kind to yourself and things will get better.

Magpie290 · 02/12/2023 12:53

I just don’t understand why I feel so deeply awful about it if it’s the right choice. I should feel more relieved

OP posts:
user1471886287 · 02/12/2023 15:06

I had an ex like this, took me 3 years to leave - I shudder now at the thought of being anywhere near him now and in time you will be the same. You have done the right thing and soon you will see this!

You got this

Magpie290 · 02/12/2023 19:30

Thanks @user1471886287 i really hope this is the case for me soon. He usually gives me the silent treatment when I bring up how I feel or he thinks i might break up with him, he hasn’t reached out since i ended things and im quite glad really because if he made loads of empty promises id probably go along with it just so I don’t have to feel this horrible anxious empty feeling.

I haven’t had a proper meal or slept properly since 😞

OP posts:
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