Resenting husband

[Mumoftwo95]

Unsure on weather I want to stay with my husband.. I have a very high sex drive and over the years it has dwindled to the point we went a whole year without doing anything. We have been together for 6 years, it was great for the first year then it went down hill pretty quick from there. I have had so many talks with him about my needs and tried everything I can to make it work (dressing up, always being the one to try it on, trying to explore his fantasies ect). I've asked him multiple times about going to the doctors (which he will agree to then he plays dumb and pretends the conversation never happened.) I stopped trying when he actually looked up one evening and said "come on then, lets get it over and done with" 😶‍🌫️ I've threatened divorce multiple times which ofcourse results in him promising to change. It has gotten to the point that we haven't been intimate In about 6 months (which is now expected.) He tried it on with me last night and I turned him away (for the first time.) He actually had the balls to get angry with me as if he was insulted that it was finally me not wanting it! He made a comment "don't say I never try it on with you" 🤣🤣 dear lord.. I lost it! I told him that I simply couldn't stand the thought of awkward sex. As anyone that has been through a "dry spell" knows what the first encounter is like after, it just feels strange. I've had enough of only getting this kind of sex once.. maybe twice a year! It feels the same every time to the point It is actually a turn off. I've been thinking it over this morning and am considering just leaving, I don't think this is salvageable. I'm 28 years old, I don't want to live the rest of my life feeling like this.

Would I be selfish leaving him and breaking up our family? I still love him dearly but I hold so much resentment towards him which has just grown over the last few years. I don't want to end up hating him a few years down the line.. making coparenting a nightmare.

Before anyone asks have also suggested an open marriage but he is completely closed off to this idea.

Oh my goodness, you're 28!
They're is definitely a better relationship out there for you.
Go and explore!!!

Yeah leave him you’ve given him plenty of opportunity to work with you.

28 is young enough to leave and start again OP, as is 38, 48 and 58..
Don't waste your life.

Would I be selfish leaving him?

No.

Would he be selfish expecting you to dance, or not, to his tune until the day you die?

His reaction to your rejection last night says it all. Don't bother with any more talks, he doesn't want to change what works for him. Time to put yourself first, you've hopefully got a lot of years ahead of you

Sadly the resentment has grown massively and the reality is it would be very difficult to overcome that now. At 28 you should be enjoying regular intimacy and the closeness that brings, as well as the release it brings. It sadly sounds like you are very much both beyond that now and maybe separation is the best way forward. You both need to talk but also promises to change are not really much good as it is the root cause as to why you have got here that matters.

It may also be that you are not sexually compatible

Thanks to all of you, I have felt so silly considering ending an otherwise happy marriage over intimacy issues.. But in reality intimacy plays a massive role in a relationship doesn't it?! It has really helped to reassure me that ending it is probably for the best 😔 I really wish we could've fixed it!

@Mumoftwo95 don’t feel silly, dh and I have been married over 40 years and fortunately both have similar sex drives.
Although I’m in my 60’s I dread illness eventually affecting our physical relationship because it’s so important to us even now.

Find a man who desires you. You’re young and should be having sex regularly imo.

He sounds really unbothered to even try so I'm not sure what else you can do but divorce.

He’s 💯 watching lots of porn

I'm 28 years old

Omg. Run for your life. You will be left with nothing but bitterness and regret if you don't. Even if you stay single forever, that's better than a dead marriage.

you should leave him. apart from anything else he doesn't seem to care how you feel.

LTB

@Smugandproud aww, I love that you still have intimacy so far into your marriage.. this is what I need! 💕

@EndOfTheLine2023 yes he does watch lots of porn, I've also found these only fans models in the people he follows on his Instagram.. I'm done!

It sounds like a Porn addiction is destroying his sex drive.

He’s highly unlikely to change himself.
You owe it to yourself to be with someone who desires you. Good luck.

Leave him. Stop trying to pressure him into having sex with you.

He isn't obligated to have sex with you. You are not entitled to sex from him. His right to say no should be respected.

You aren't obligated to have sex with him. He is not entitled to sex from you. Your right to say no should be respected.

You two are sexually incompatible.

Do not cheat. Do not pressure him. Leave, or get some toys. It's probably best to leave before you wind up cheating on him. Be single and have as much "safe" sex as you desire.

You two are tied together for life if you have children.

Perhaps you will preserve the family dynamics, and strengthen it by leaving.

Just because you leave, doesn't mean that a house and family are "broken"..

Just because you stay, doesn't mean that a house and family are "whole" and intact.

You both are incompatible.