When should you block someone?

[harerunner]

I've only ever blocked two people over the years, someone who managed to get hold of my number and bombarded me with random unsolicited messages, and another one who I'd met online Tinder who wouldn't take no for an answer.

However, from reading threads on here, some people block at the drop of a hat, with every contact or date that doesn't progress having to be actively "blocked", even if the contact/date has done nothing wrong. I don't understand why people can't just message and say "sorry, things aren't working out" but have to delete and block instead... it seems childish.

It's not childish just different people have different approaches to their contact information.

It's like how some people have hundreds of friends on FB and others have only a few. Neither approach is wrong, just different.

It's a good idea to block someone if the pattern is that they talk you round from your decision to end things.

Or if you think they're going to be awkward.

You're not obliged to be open to communication from someone. It's not childish, it's having a boundary.

Your phone/social media etc gives more access to people to overview you than there's ever been, so limiting who gets that access is sensible.

I blocked one whose politics turned out to be dodgy, one who keeps demanding to know why I hadn't responded yet after I had already told him I had a busy day at work, one who was really rude, and one who gave me the creeps when I met him on a date.

There are a couple who ping me every few months when drunk and horny, which just amuses me, (what is it about being pissed that makes them think after months of no contact that I'm suddenly going to say, "oh yes, of course I'll come over!"?) but if they stopped being amusing, they will get blocked.

The rest of them (a much larger number) we just stopped contact, most without ever meeting, and a few after meeting. It's possible some have blocked me, but as I've not tried contacting them, i don't know, nor care. There are also a couple I stayed in touch with as friends and the one I never want to lose contact with.

I don't blocked as a matter of course, unless it's spam. Other people are different.

However, from reading threads on here, some people block at the drop of a hat

this page is an echo chamber as it tends to be populated by people who have had challenging experiences in the field of love 💕
myself included !

as such there is a bias and flavour

I’m a fan of deletion and silence personally

unless someone has turned nasty

If I don't want anything to do with someone, I don't want them to have anyway of contacting me. I don't want a drunken text from an ex or one last word from someone. I owe them nothing and I block people I don't want contact with or from. I also delete lots of people, so don't block everyone, but where people are needy or controlling or just not nice, I get rid entirely. Not sure why that's childish.

The only time I've blocked someone is when they continued to contact me to try and change my mind after I'd said it wasn't working out. Even then, I actually told him I wasn't going to reply to any more messages and he carried on. So I blocked.

It's a last resort for me.

Being on the receiving end of being blocked without warning or explanation tells me more about the block-er and usually means I've had a lucky escape.

Where people are needy (as in persistent despite you not engaging), controlling or not nice then blocking is appropriate, not childish.

I mean when people block after normal friendly messages and dates, where there's none of the above. I've had it a couple of times when I've been messaging amicably, and suddenly, "poof", they've disappeared, with no word of explanation or a goodbye.

I've had it a couple of times when I've been messaging amicably, and suddenly, "poof", they've disappeared, with no word of explanation or a goodbye.

Hmm, but they probably had their reasons you're not aware of.

If it's people you've met through dating apps, it might be something like they were cheating and had aroused the suspicion of their partner and could no longer afford to risk messages popping up.

Or maybe they got a bad vibe off you 😀 and thought you would be awkward. You know you're not a nutter, but other people don't. 😀

I've only ever blocked people who kept sending me unwanted messages, or who were so unpleasant that I didn't want them to keep any sort of tabs on me.

I do think it's a bit odd to block after a minor interaction that just fizzled out. Seems a bit dramatic.

I've only ever blocked people who won't leave me alone or send nasty messages.

It is very dramatic it is someone you just didn't continue seeing

When you’ve asked someone not to contact you again and they ignore you, or for spam phone calls. That’s what blocking is for.

Some people on here instead use it to avoid having a slightly awkward conversation eg saying no to a suggested second date or ending a friendship.

Pathetic and so so weak. Just be a grown up and have the conversation.

I agree, but you see it all the time on here.

Someone posts for advice about how they aren't compatible with someone they're dating... More often than not the advice isn't to message or call to tell the guy to tell him. No! It's delete and block! It's so childish and immature.

Not all advice on here is going to be the same as the advice you'd give, @harerunner .

Where we 'should' do something depends on where we get our 'shoulds' from.

Where do you get yours from?