Clares Law Disclosure

[movingon47]

Hi

I was involved in a relationship with a very abusive man, the police contacted me and asked me to go in for a chat. I went and met a lovely CID officer from the protection hub.

He asked me general questions about the relationship and seemed concerned for me and was fab and said he would call me once he had done more searching. About 2 weeks later my DA support worker contacted me and said something had come up and we made an appointment.

Both the officer and my DA SW were amazing, chatting for 30 minutes, he even pointed out I looked about 7 stone and had a stress looking rash all over my face. He then said OK I have to record this and gave me my disclosure on my current, whom I had had removed from my house 2 before, as he was kicking off again.

Basically it said

He is known to the police

In 2017 he was prosecuted for DA, including punching, kicking, slapping, pulling hair, dragging by hair etc.

Over the years there have been numerous incidents and callouts from a number of women, concerning this individual, all of a DA nature, no charges were pursed.

The CPS and relevant service consider this individual a danger to women.

When that last sentence came out, I went cold, my SW said she was watching my face and it was horrified.

I am now no contact, thousands of pounds down, but myself and my dogs are becoming happy again and it's only been 5 days, 4 days since the disclosure. I now know it wasn't me, it wasn't my fault; I tried so hard, I was so and still an exhausted.

I implore anyone, anyone in a relationship and it is hard in anyway or about to get into one, do a Clares Law. In the future, any prospective partner I have, I will explain and ask if he minds me doing one. I'm hoping the right guy will understand my need for this and be fine with it.

I need a little support as I keep getting tempted to make contact again and I don't understand why??

He doesn't deserve another second of your thoughts. Keep strong and keep away.
I wish you a very happy life with your animals, they're better than most people.

I think the point pp was making is that you didnt leave when you first experienced his nastiness, so someone just telling you about it might not have worked either. You'd have maybe thought things woukd be different with you?

Make a list of all the awful things he did to you, how badly he treated you, and your suspicions of what he may have done to your dogs.

Stick it to the front of the fridge and read it every day to remind yourself how vile he is.

Our brains have a way of blurring the bad and only remembering the good, so you need a visual reminder to help you stay strong. Good luck OP.

This guy had become a close friend for over a year before we got together, I didn't see any of the behavior's prior. I found been in an abusive relationship I had come to not trust my own judgement I guess, my gut! You know it didn't even register to me at the time that this ass was driving around in my Jag, moving himself, his dogs and his tat into my house. I guess I am just stupid, as your post suggests???

How are you doing now?

Yes it would be good to hear how you're getting on OP, hope you're OK x