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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Gaming partner

1 reply

batfink39 · 30/11/2023 09:57

My partner & I have been together for around 15 years. He didn't game at the very beginning but probably started a few years into our relationship. He spends whole days on the computer. I find the constant loud chatter with his headset on difficult to deal with (mentally stressful) & have to sleep with earplugs at night. He's also totally disengaged with what's going on around him during this time. I have to stand and wait until he's not in the middle of something to speak with him & he gets annoyed if I interrupt. He's not a bum in the sense that he has a good job & does lots of things round the house when it suits him, but when he's stuck into the computer games, he leaves mess everywhere & I spend the whole time cleaning up & feeling lonely. He'll come off to watch tv shows with me at night but then I'll have to go to bed after the programmes ended as he'll go back on the computer (can't watch tv in lounge with the noise) I spend a lot of time eating my tea on my bed upstairs because i can't sit and relax with the constant shouting etc. I've been getting gradually lonelier since lockdown & this is just really taking its toll on me. Wonder if anyone has any advice or has been in a similar situation? I'm
In 2 minds whether to leave :(

OP posts:
MrsKaty · 30/11/2023 10:05

Have you been honest with him and had a conversation about it? My hubby did already game when we got married, but we had to have a conversation where I said something along the lines of "it feels like you love your computer more than me, and I'm struggling with that." He still gamed after that, but we set aside a couple of nights a week where he didn't and it made a big difference. He doesn't game as much since we had our little boy in 2021, but that's been totally his choice.
Maybe you could try playing too occasionally? To show that you're trying?
Hope you get somewhere with it all, it sounds lonely for you.

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