Was what I said clumsy?

[veganmeatballs]

DH is going through a tough patch mentally.

A couple of weeks ago he came back from visiting his family (we usually visit our respective families together, but this time I couldn't go with him because I had work).

DH is going through a tough patch mentally.
We are supposed to go together at the end of the year to spend Christmas and NY together at my parents and see my newborn niece. I suggested that instead of coming with me, since he's feeling down, that he goes spend it with his parents instead of us.

I now realise it might have come across the wrong way, especially since he just came back from visiting his family.
He seemed a little taken aback but didn't say anything.
Am I overthinking it?

It depends on how you said it, the surrounding conversation, and what's now going through his head.

Sit down and explain how you just mean if he'd rather not go through the stress of visiting the inlaws, you'd be happy with him giving it a miss. But that you would love him to come if he wanted to.

It is a bit weird really because if I was feeling down I’d want my partner to stay home with me or at least spend some of the time with me on xmas rather than telling me to sod off on my own to my parents 🤣🤣

He gets along with my family and was quite looking forward to go, which is why I feel bad about how it might have been interpreted.

I only meant at is an in he would get emotional support from his family.

that's how I think he interpreted it
ugh
thank you

If I was feeling down I'd want to be with my partner but I wouldn't expect them to stay home with me and miss out on seeing my family and newborn niece (unless there were extreme extenuating circumstances like a recent close bereavement).

I'd maybe sit him down and explain you'd obviously love him to come to your family with you. You were just wanting to make it clear that if he didn't feel up to it and he'd be more comfortable with his own family then you'd understand. You just didn't want him to feel pressured to come with you