Did my ex get with my friend? Need advice

[milkyway512]

I’m 23 and when I was 20 I dated this guy for about a month. There were tons of red flags, I have posted about it here before. I broke up with him twice and then it ended entirely. He mostly love bombed me and in my gut I knew something wasn’t right.

During the relationship, I saw him look at this other woman that looked like my best friend from school (H), it wasn’t her though, and then look at me as if he were comparing us and thinking about something. I then got the thought that they would perhaps go well together, and started comparing pictures of them together as soon as I got home to see if they’d make a good couple. fast forward to a couple of years later: I start getting this strange feeling that they’ve been having sex and have been in a relationship since we split up.

I have no evidence that they’ve ever met, but I have this weird feeling they’ve met on Instagram. Whenever I’m feeling relaxed I get this sort of weird feeling in my heart and in my stomach that there’s something going on between them. I have NO evidence though, I’ve even asked my friend and she says she’s never heard of a person that goes by the name of my ex.

I even thought I saw them walking together in the street, I only saw the backs of them but their clothes looked kind of like what they wear and the hair colours were similar.

what would you do in this situation? I also have ocd and my mother tells me it’s my intrusive thoughts telling me these things. I don’t know what feeling to trust. I know I shouldn’t care but I do because it hurts for some reason, and I have felt jealous and angry. They’re not following each other on social media and there are absolutely no photos of them together. I can’t explain why I’m feeling this or where it is coming from.

can anyone help with this? Thank you

It sounds like your mum is right.
Do you have any strategies for intrusive thoughts/breaking this type of cycle?

Really weird but I once had the same. I actually called my ex and said did you just recently sleep with so and so? He was very confused as she was not his type at all and they'd been very secretive. It was so weird, like a psychic kind of knowing. Nothing like it in the last 20 years though.

I try and remind myself it may be anxiety, and try and remember to think logically as I have no evidence so can’t make an assumption based on anything. I just have this weird feeling that won’t go away!! It’s like an itch I can’t scratch

That’s kind of what it feels like, and if it’s true I’m not sure why they’re being so secretive. What did you do to forget about it?

I think your mum is right as it’s not rational. Are you getting treatment for your ocd?

It's definitely your mind playing tricks with you. Maybe try some cbt or something.

And anyway, you were only with this guy for a month. What would be the issue if he'd subsequently been in a relationship with someone you know?

thank you, I suppose it’s not really a problem and I know that intellectually, but for some reason I get really envious at the thought of them being happy together. I think that’s just me being selfish though

This is your OCD talking.
You are fixated on a person you dated for a month 3 years ago.

This is not rationale.

Speak your GP or mental health team about getting more support for your OCD.

It’s intrusive thoughts 10000%

sometimes you date someone and they fuck with your head so much

and then these horrible thoughts come and go

But the trick is to realise them and it’s kind of like a form of self harm
I hate it and I have this about my ex

we’ve only been split 2 months and I sincerely hope they 🛑

Please get help.
Three years ago you went out with a guy gor a month (!) - and now you seem to be obsessed with some made up scenario.
This is NOT about him really, or your friend.

This is something in your head you need help with. See a doctor, ask for help.
You cant live like this.