Been with DH 5yrs, have 1 LG aged 3 together, he is the big earner- I came into this with nothing, however we are now married…
our agreement has always been- he pays his mortgage and all the bills- I pay for childcare, food shopping, presents, kid stuff and our car taxes and insurance.
i don’t earn even half what he earns and we aren’t entitled to any benefits.
i find him quite selfish- when im broke with nothing in the bank- he “lends” me money that i have to pay back- should a husband “lend” his wife money for food and items for their child.
i struggle to find suitable work as he works 4on4off shifts and has a golf obsession that takes over his time off- he doesn’t see him having his daughter for a day as an option. He insists she must stay full time at nursery even though the fees cripple me.
its not just finances and childcare that bother me- he has always been pretty selfish in the bedroom- expects foreplay and oral etc from me but will NEVER give it in return. He’s so boring, we rarely do it and he won’t be spontaneous or change his ways.
he doesn’t compliment me or do dirty talk etc because he says he finds it difficult to talk in that way.
im so financially stressed at the moment trying to do Xmas and survive on my own money- but I “owe” him over 2k already (help with car repairs etc he has given me and he adds up)
im also fed up of never feeling good about myself or feeling “wanted”.
ps- he is a generally good dad with or LG however won’t have her overnight or alone during the day to ease childcare costs or to allow me a night away with my friends etc.