Why do I feel uneasy about this

[Isanyonereallyanonymous]

Been with bf for 3 months, so not long, met via OLD.

He has a female friend he’s known for a few years via online chat forum.
They met for the first time in person earlier this year.
He never used to meet her regularly then I’d say about a month after we met he started to see her every Thursday night (I work Thursday nights), without fail. She doesn’t drive so he might go and pick her up and they go to his or he goes to hers.
He doesn’t have much of a social group so I don’t want to discourage him, he also says there is 0 attraction there on his side.
Clearly I don’t know him that well as only known him 3 months but he doesn’t strike me the cheating sort and he’s very upfront about their friendship.
We’ve discussed that the frequency that they meet and where they meet makes me uncomfortable but apparently she has social anxiety so doesn’t like going out and he isn’t a pub/going out for food kind of person, and he says he kind of likes the routine and that if he didn’t see her regularly he probably wouldn’t see her hardly at all.
That said she’s suggested they go to a haunted house night together (which they did), they were supposed to go to a movie museum last weekend and now she’s suggesting a weekend away in Blackpool in January.
Prior to tonight’s suggestion we had a conversation where I said I trust him but I don’t trust her, I don’t really think much of someone who is that keen to spend so much time with someone else’s bf if I’m honest.
I have male friends myself, and one in particular who I have known for about 12 years and I do go away with from time to time (usually to a music festival each year) but we rarely catch up in between times and if bf wasn’t comfortable with that I’d understand. So I don’t want to be saying I’m not ok with that but then doing similar-ish myself.
Am I being very unreasonable to say no I’m not ok with them going away for a weekend?!
Im not generally the jealous type and I trust him but something doesn’t sit right with this.

edit so as not to drip feed - she encouraged him to go onto the sting site where I met him and he has told her about me if it makes any difference.

She thinks she is his girlfriend.

And “sting site” is a revealing Freudian slip.

I would feel uneasy too and don't get a good feeling reading it, no talk of you all meeting each other? She doesn't sound a nice friend encouraging him to go back on a dating site, I wonder why? Perhaps he's moaning to her about you. A weird set up perhaps they are something casual and she doesn't want him loved up in a relationship.

I don’t really think much of someone who is that keen to spend so much time with someone else’s bf

If she has social anxiety he could be one of the only people she spends time with. Why don’t you trust her but you trust your bf, despite him being keen to spend so much time with another woman?

He's dating two women at once, and I'm not sure the silly man even realises it.

Leave them to it.

I don’t know how he has any time to spend with you, he’s doing so much with her! It’s such early days for you and it’s already getting hard work. I’d get yourself back on that dating site!

I had a couple of really close male friends when I met my husband. One of the first things I did was introduce him to them. Nowadays (decades on) they’re closer to him than me! That’s the only sensible way forward imo if you have a same sex friend and it’s causing issues.

He's basically going on dates with her and she thinks he's her boyfriend. I would look elsewhere for a partner.

For clarity, she encouraged him to go onto the dating site originally/earlier this year which is where I then met him over summer, not that she’s encouraging him onto it now. Though I’m not sure why my phone auto corrected to sting 🤷‍♀️
I can well believe it’s the silly man doesn’t realise he’s dating two people at once as opposed to their being any malice/intent in it.
I guess if it was that he was cheating it feels unlikely as he’s so open about her. He’s also said I’m the first person he’s been with since breaking up with his ex 2 or 3 years ago and I can believe that based on other conversations we’ve had, hence cheating seeming unlikely on his part.
I guess not trusting her just comes from my own moral guidelines, I wouldn’t ever want to put myself or a friend in a position where their partner thought something might be going on, I think out of respect you automatically cool off a friendship a little when the other person becomes involved with someone. But that said I’ve never really had a friend that I message daily and see weekly (of the same or the opposite gender)
He did suggest that I meet her if I wanted/it made me feel more at ease but that just feels awkward as fuck tbh?!

Did they start to meet up long before you met your boyfriend?

I think she sounds interested romantically in him. Going to watch a film, going to a haunted house experience, meeting up every Thursday evening - it is strange behaviour for a boyfriend esp a new boyfriend. If they had a joint hobby and met up weekly to e.g. play a sport, its different - but going to each other's houses is inappropriate imo.

I wonder if your boyfriend became more attractive to her once he started talking about other women to her?

She is taking the piss, he is taking the piss too.

You say she encouraged him to date, have you actually heard her say this? because it sounds like he is saying stuff to throw you off the scent.

It's not awkward to meet your boyfriends friend. He offered you to meet, you should take him up on this offer. Some people say this as a manipulative tactic. I dont think he is as dim as you're painting him or that she is as evil as you're suggesting. I would bet he is dating her and cheating on you. If you think not, meet her with him.