Rather long here. I can hardly believe I am putting this out to strangers on the internet. Let me start by saying this is the story of a 30 plus year marriage. Recently empty nested after brining up 4 kids. Rewind a year back at this time when I realized and was prepping myself for the feeling of having no kids around... what was I going to do since I had been a stay at home mom with only volunteer jobs over the years. I was always busy. I was thankful not to have to work. The last kid that left happened to have a real extra special connection to my husband. I know my husband is transitioning too however, He has his career and I'm kinda starting over. I will tell u he is a virgo. He has always been about perfection and it has driven me crazy for years. Part of his personality is anger and I have accepted it and tried ti help him through it. So last year at this time I gave an ultimatum.. Either put the phone down and be transparent and deal with how you disrepect me or I am out. So he did elect to try and we made strides. I am not one to be a snoop but I did ask if we could both feel free to look at each others phones. It took time for him to allow me to see his. He did. However... the phone time... the more easily angered... and NOW THE BEARD? He looks horrible with it. I kindly have said you look so much better clean shaven. I asked him why? First it was no shave Nov. Then the story changed to he wanted to look distinguished. My gut is screaming at me that the beard is either for someone else he is chatting with or crushing on or possibly to attract females. The simple fact that I find him unattractive in it and does not care srsly raises a redflag. I am exhausted from trying to communicate in any healthy way with him. Any advice?