Hi there,
I'm 36 years old & currently 37 weeks pregnant with my second child (first child with my partner), and today I just completely broke down after months of feeling pretty crappy/anxious about something in particular, so I'm hoping you lovely bunch on here could please give me your perspective on the situation & tell me if I'm just being overly hormonal 🤰🏼
So basically, in a nutshell, I honestly feel like I’m loosing my mind with my partner, he severely lacks life experience, I'm only his second partner ever (he's 33 years old) and I find the only way to get through to him about anything (and I really mean anything) is to be completely direct/black & white (basically, spell it out!), and I honestly couldn’t be any more clear/black & white with him if I tried, he knows exactly what I need from him to make me happy, and I literally ask him for the bare minimum, but everything just seems like hard work & he just won’t put in the effort, no matter how hard I try, it’s breaking my heart & today it all just reached a peak & I broke down 😓
I'm very close to my parents & although they really like him, I honestly think my mums on the verge of having a word with him as she can see how much his sheer lack of effort is effecting me, and I’m so unbelievably nervous that if he can’t get the basics right now, then how on earth is he going to step up when a baby is here, I’ve spent my entire pregnancy crippled with worry as he just makes absolutely zero effort 😢
In a nutshell, we made a promise to each other before I agreed to start trying for a baby, and that promise was that if I gave him his wish of being a daddy, then he would make sure a ring is on my finger before the baby is born, as it’s something I know means a lot to my parents, and to myself, and it’s the only thing that would make me feel safe, I made it abundantly clear that it’s a ‘non-negotiable’… and he promised me that would happen no matter what… so we went & chose the ring over a year ago, and it’s still sat in his sock draw at home because hes apparently ‘waiting for the right event to present itself’ 😰
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, I'm literally going to have this baby any day now (induction booked for 2 weeks time, sweep performed today with my midwife) & he still has absolutely no plan of doing anything with that ring, and he’s admitted it to my face today that he has no idea 'how to propose’… it’s just so lazy & it’s all completely ruined now… I feel so hurt that he made me a promise & he’s gone back on his word without a care in the world for how it’s made me feel, when I'm constantly making such an effort in the relationship 😞
He cooked me a meal for the first time EVER last week after I pleaded with him over 10 times to PLEASE put in some effort & to consider me more, and he just can’t see why 15 months into a relationship & 9 months of being pregnant (plus 16 years of being best friends) that that’s an issue 😓
I’ve cried all day, I’m absolutely exhausted & incredibly worried for the future things continue like this… I’ve told him under no uncertain terms that if this baby wasn’t in the picture then I would have walked away by now, as I’ve never in my life been in a relationship with such an inconsiderate partner… I just hope it gets through to him, bcus I’ve honestly had enough, and it takes A LOT for me to get to this stage where I just feel like giving up 😞
One thing I will just add is that he's fantastic with my daughter, she's 8 years old, and she adores him, he's a teacher, so he's great with children, so I really cannot fault him when it comes to my daughter, which is definitely a good thing, as she's my absolute world 🌎❤️
Any advice would be greatly appreciated 🤞🏼
Thank you x