I am feeling in a really low place and been really anxious about my relationship. I mentioned to DP that I think I want to break up as we are so unhappy and just keep having the same issues over and over, nothings changed in 5 years other than things getting worse. But I'm worried that I'm the problem and just running away instead of trying to work on things. He said I've changed and that I've became a selfish bitch and that's why we have problems. Says that I don't live in reality and I'll never be happy even if I leave. I feel like my self esteem been eroded and I can't figure out the truth.
Personally I think I've became very negative and resentful, feeling like I'm not being respected so I guess he's right. I went to counselling earlier this year and that made me realise how I think he's been treating me and I've tried to stand up for myself more. I ask him to be more respectful of me but somehow any conversation turns into the things I need to work on for him. He's quite an overbearing person and has mood swings so I really struggle to stand my ground (punches walls, slams doors, talks down to me like I'm a child). Simply getting out the house some days is a complete stress, like example if he's running late he will be in a mood for hours and he won't be speaking to me but when I bring it up he says I'm the one not speaking to him. He does virtually nothing day to day around the house, I do all the cleaning and he says the inside of the house is my job. He fixed something on my car last weekend and afterwards was in a bad mood demanding that I put his washing on as he's spent all afternoon on my car even though I spent mine cleaning the house and walking the dog.
This all sounds so trivial when I write it down but I feel so undervalued and fed up. I just don't know if he's a nice person anymore and wonder if there's something better out there for me. But on the other hand maybe I'm the problem and leaving him won't fix anything? I just want to be happy and confident again.